Friday, October 9, 2009

I ♥ My FURminator!

Blog soundtrack:



As you know, I have a corgi named Montgomery. As I tell most people, I love Monty, but the two things I like least about him (okay, let’s just call them his "quirks") are that he barks a lot, and he sheds a lot. But, other than that, he is a model dog citizen, especially because he is most patient when I dress him up, which he loves. Does too!

Anyway, I brought Monty into the vet’s a few weeks ago for his annual check-up, and I was complaining to the veterinarian about Monty’s shedding “quirk.” She said, “Oh, you should get the FURminator.” I said, “The what?” She said, “It’s a great brush.” I put it on my list-of-things-to-do-when-I’m-not-cycling-or-writing-my-blog list. (It’s a long and neglected list!)

A week or so past, and I was talking to Tunabreath, who is also a vet, and I was again telling my tale of quirky corgi shedding woe. Tunabreath said, “Oh, you should get the FURminator! But, it’s kind of expensive.” I asked, “How expensive?” She said, I think it’s around $50.” $50 for a dog brush?!?!?!?!

Anyway, as I walked through the kitchen yesterday and saw yet another corgi tumblefurweed blow across the floor, I said, “That’s it. I’m going to look into that FURminator.”

Iz and I were out and about yesterday afternoon and passed a pet store during our travels. I said, “Hey, let’s pop in and see if they have that FURminator brush.” Iz was more interested in the turtles, fish, and gerbils, and by the way, if she ever gets a turtle she’s naming it “Merlin.” But, I steered us right to the dog brush aisle, and there it was!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FSN0A4/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=3493989401&ref=pd_sl_8xaqi7ymxc_e

The brush that promised to “decrease shedding up to 90 percent for about 4 to 6 weeks!” It sounded too good be true; if it had prevented excessive barking, too, my life would have been complete!

I did stand there and ponder if I was crazy to spend $50 on a dog brush, but then I did the math. FURminator + Monty = MLV (Much Less Vacuuming)

I picked it up and headed to the register. (Meanwhile Iz wanted to buy Monty a sweater with a peace sign on it. Where does she get that from I wonder?) When the cashier saw the FURminator, he instantly said, “OMG! I love the FURminator. I use it on my long-haired cat. It’s great.”

The sticker shock from the price was rapidly dwindling, and I was beginning to feel that if this brush was all that and more, it might even be able to somehow get me a job. (Okay, maybe that thought was a direct result of too much caffeine, but you can’t fault me for trying to be positive!)

So, I never thought that I would write an ode to a dog brush, but that is what this is. And, at 11:30 this morning, I went out on the porch, put the Monty on his leash, and brought him down to the yard.

This is Monty pre-FURminator. Note the bad case of maximusfurclumpettuBrute on his thigh!



Then like a cowboy in an old Western, I stood there in front of Monty and whipped the FURminator out of the back pocket of my jeans.



Monty looked hesitant, and I said, “Don’t worry, Monty. After I’m through with you, you’re going to be able to fit into those jeans that you never thought you’d be able to wear again!” He looked doubtful.

Stage 1: You’re Going to Give Me a Bone for This, Aren’t You?



Stage 2: Are We Done Yet?



Stage 3: I’m Not Talking to You Anymore; We Should Be Done By Now!



Stage 4: Now We’re Done, Right?



Stage 5: The Calm After the FURminator Storm



Stage 6: Build-A-Corgi Workshop



A few popsicle sticks and some Elmer’s Glue, and, voila, you’ve got yourself a corgi; at least it’s one that won’t bark! ♥

It’s Nice to Have Friends Who Think You Can Save the World Note:



I just need a cape! Thanks for the magnet, Suze. ♥

The FURminator Comes Through Again Note: Err, I have a job interview on Tuesday. Yes, really! See how powerful the FURminator is! I’m off now to see if it’ll slice bread and/or clean my windows! If it can do my taxes, I'm marrying it! :-)

7 comments:

Tunabreath said...

Jean!! I was the one who told you about the furminator, I cant believe you didnt give me credit!! I havent' even read the blog, I am so upset I didnt get credit where credit is do!! ;)

Tunabreath said...

OOps, guess I should have read the blog before I got all in a lather. Sorry

The Goddess of All Things Lovely said...

LOL! You were the FURminator's second recommendation!

Anonymous said...

Take note everyone....
The Goddess sucked us in with great stories for months, innocently typing away, laughing away silently, saying to herself, "read on my disciples, come on to my web, have some of your friends join us too...." and now the blog is getting commercial!! : - O
I'll bet Jean got paid by the FURminator to do this!! What's next? A testimonial to how beer made you think better and drinking before an interview is the way to go?!?!?!?! : - )

The Goddess of All Things Lovely said...

Tom, as I sit here typing on my Dell computer whilst having a glass of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc, I am amazed that you think I am hawking products like Billy Mays did for Oxyclean and Orange-Glo. I don't need to sell "stuff" on my blog, because the State of Massachusetts pays me --thankfully-- so I can still pay my mortgage to Bank of America, drive my Saab 9-3, and paint my toes with OPI's "I'm Really Not a Waitress." So, I feel that you owe me an apology which would probably be best "said" by sending me some flowers (www.proflowers.com), some chocolates (http://www.lakechamplainchocolates.com/), or by purchasing a Sephora (www.sephora.com) giftcard! :-)

Anonymous said...

Note to self...
Since my SAT English scores and math scores where polar opposites and I was excellent at math, never enter a battle of words with anyone who calls themselves...The Wicked Wordsmith, the Polish Poet, the Spectacular Scriber, or the Astonding Author!! : - )
TomS

The Goddess of All Things Lovely said...

Okay, so Calculus at 50 paces then?! Err, I am no mathlete, and it would appear you are. :-) K, let's just call it a draw.

~Polish Poet