Climb Every Mountain

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I guess the soundtrack for this blog could have been the song of the same title that was in the Sound of Music, but that would be really boring, wouldn’t it?! And, to tell you the truth, I never really liked that song, even though I love the movie. So, I’ve made the song one that I heard in the car today when driving up to Jaffrey, New Hampshire to -- drum roll, please--hike up freakin’ Mount Monadnock!

A Did You Know Educational Note: “A magnet for hikers, Monadnock is said to be the second most frequently climbed mountain in the world, after Japan's Mt. Fuji.”

A few weeks ago, someone in my little cycling clique decided that it would be “fun” for all of us to hike up the Mount. I thought it was Bill, but today, Bill swore it was Bob. Okay, it didn’t really make a difference whose idea it was today; however, the person whose idea it was neglected to point out that it was not like climbing stairs nor using the Stairmaster; it was more like extreme hiking on Fantasy Island. You know, like you’re set loose in the cold at 9:30am, and you have to find your way up and down a mountain by 5pm or your paramour, who happens to be played by John Davidson, gets snuffed!

Okay, I’m not a “hiker.” I’m a “Mom,” a “cyclist,” a “writer,” a “vintage fashionista,” and many other things, but I would never tell anyone with any great confidence that I was a “hiker.” But, when Bill and I arrived in the parking lot to meet Bob at 9:30, I had every confidence. We stopped to pay our $8 fee, and the ranger bestowed upon us three important bits of hiking knowledge:

It would take us four hours round trip.
At the top, it was going to be below freezing. (Of course, some kids walked by just then wearing t-shirts and shorts, and I said, “So, um, they’re underdressed.” He frowned and said, “Yes, very.”)
Where there were leaves and water, it would be slippery.

Good advice I thought, but it kind of scared me. Four hours, freezing, and slippery?!?! This was a “hike” not an audition for “Survivor,” was it not?!

We met Bob in the parking lot, where he was putting on all of his orange day-glo finest: vest and hat. (Bill commented to me, somewhat sounding like a teasing younger brother, that Bob looked like Elmer Fudd in his hat. I said that I thought the Elmer Fudd look was very cute and totally in this year! )

After Bob was wrapped in orange from the waist up, Bill then relayed everything the ranger said to us to Bob. And, basically, Bob said, “Bah, humbug.” Finally, Bill told Bob that the ranger suggested we take the White Dot trail up and take the White Cross trail back, but again, Bob said, “Bah, humbug.”

Okay, so Bob doesn’t really say, “Bah, humbug” but whereas Bill’s idea of leadership is “Saving Private Ryan” and leave no man behind, Bob is “take no prisoners” and “every man for himself.”

So, here I am, Confident Wanna Be Hiker Chick before we left the parking lot.



I was wavering then between “Hours and hours, freezing, and slippery, oh my!” and “Jeez, after biking 40 miles, this walk up the Mount will be a piece ‘o cake.” And, before beginning the trek, we decided to stop at the bathroom. When washing my hands, I looked up and saw this sign:



While wiping my hands with a towel, I answered out loud, “No!!!!!” I had no hiking boots on (just my old pink Nike running sneaks), no flashlight (jeez, it was only 9:30 in the morning!), no rain gear, and the only thing I had that was close to a first aid kit was a Hello Kitty band-aid in the Hello Kitty zippered case that was primarily brought along to hold my lip gloss!

I thought, “I can do this. Yes, I can. I bike 40 miles. I gave birth to two kids. Piece o’ cake! ” I went out and met Bill and Bob, and away we went on the White Cross trail. At first, the dirt trail seemed pretty tame. Then I saw this, and I my hiking self-confidence alert level went from high to low in a matter of seconds.

Yes, the trail was comprised of boulders, boulders that went up, up, and up again! I then said to Bill, “Second floor. Ladies Lingerie.” And Bill responded, “Ding! Ding!”

After about 20 minutes, I was hungry. I stopped, dropped my backpack on the ground, and said, “I need a snack.” I pulled out my Macintosh apple, put my backpack back on, and started to walk. Bill then said, “Aw, I left a great banana in the kitchen back at home. I wish I brought that banana.” I offered him my apple, but he didn’t want it; and he continued to lament the banana that was left behind for the next 20 minutes! See, I told you; Bill doesn't like to leave anything behind!



In about 45 minutes, we finally gained enough, um, altitude, I guess, to start feeling like we were above it all.



Of course, at one point, I stopped, pulled out my pad, wrote down a few things, and then put it in my backpack. Bill said, “Jean, you’re taking notes?” I said, “Um, well, I am a writer. There’s a story in everything, Bill.” Bill said he always thought he had a bit of writing talent, and at one point, he hoped to write a story about taking a boat from the Hudson River all the way down to Florida. But, he felt he was too old to do that now. Bob, 75 years old, then chimed in and said he hadn’t written anything since high school.

I told Bill that it wasn’t too late to write his book. He told me that he always liked to say that, “Your dreams should be bigger than your memories,” but he hadn’t adhered to that as well as he wanted. Anyway, I liked that phrase…a lot.

Thereafter, I thought I’d be less conspicuous and use my Blackberry to write notes. Err, yes, I wrote notes as I was hiking up the Mount. I tripped once, and then Bill yelled from behind me, “Stop texting! You’re going to kill yourself.” I said, “I’m not texting! I’m making notes for my story.” I slipped three times during the course of the trip, but it was not while making notes, so there, Bill!

And, look, if you thought Hansel was dropping bread crumbs, you were wrong; the Hansel on this Mount was dropping safety pins.



As we got closer to the top, I found myself sweaty and taking off clothing. And, as Bob said, I was, much to my surprise, searching for crevices to put my hands and feet in. This hiking the Mount thing was certainly not a walk in the park; it was a climb up the side of a building like Spiderman!

When we were almost at the top, Bill and I walked over to a rock ledge and look down. Bill said, “There’s only one way to get down from here without climbing down.” I said, “Med flight?” Bill made a flying motion with his hands and then said, “Air mail!”

When we got to the top, the view was just amazing. And, Bob told us that there was a medallion in the stone that we had to touch. Yes, if we didn’t touch the medallion, the climb was null and void. Bob is the same way about the rail trail; he must touch the pole at the end in Ayer, or it’s not an official ride. Yes, strange but true. So, here’s the medallion.



I had thought there’d be a building at the top, a snack bar, and toilets, but the top comprised solid rock and was about 75 by 75 yards of real estate in total. Even though there was nothing there, I felt like I was Queen of the World.





We sat down, ate our lunch, and then like most others at the top, we had our Kodak moment.



When it came time to leave, Bob, well, he just left without notifying Bill or me. Again, remember, it’s every man for himself with Bob. Bill and I saw him walk off, and I said, “Oh, I guess it’s time to leave now!”

So, against the recommendation of the ranger, who said we should take the White Cross down, Bob said we would take the White Dot trail down. Bob said it was less rocky and easier on the knees. Was it? Um, nope!



When I first saw the trail down and a patch of very smooth rocks, I said to Bill, “That’s it. I’m going down on my butt.” Bill said, “You’re going to go down like a girl.” As he said that, a woman was coming up the trial and said, “Well, she is one, and that’s perfectly okay!” Bill and I both laughed.

As we went down, I couldn’t find the White Dots too well, and then I bitched to Bill, “I think they need to redo the markers, because you can’t tell where the trail goes.” Bill then said, “Jean, we don’t need trail markers; we’re not pussies!” I had to laugh to myself. Again, I was one of the guys.

Most non-hikers would think that going up would be much harder than coming down. But, now that I am a hiker (Look, Ma! No quotes!), I know that going down is A LOT harder. Before we left the parking lot, Bob had given Bill and I these hiking walking stick thingies, and I was so glad I had one.

Going down each step was like a puzzle. I kept thinking over and over again…
“Where should I put my foot?”
“Where should I place my hiking stick thingy?”
“Where should I put my hand?”
AND…
“How much life insurance do I have, because I think if I slip on this rock now, I’m dead!”

I looked at the rocks, and I thought that getting down without injury was totally impossible until some guy came running down the Mount. Yes, really, and if you don’t believe me, watch this, and yes, Bill shouts “Show off!’ at him as he travels by us, and I was in total awe.




After he passed by, Bill tried to make us both feel better by saying, “Yeah, but can he ride 40 miles on a bike, Jean?” I laughed and said, “No way!”

As we traveled down, it was obvious that Bill and I could go faster than Bob. Bill and I would hike down a bit, and then we’d look back to check and see where Bob was.



I grumbled a bit, because while Bob insisted this trail was easier on the knees and quicker, it was far more treacherous than taking the White Star trail down. I said to Bill, “Sorry, I’m bitching,” and he said, “Well, this is Bob. He did everything opposite from what the ranger said; but the ranger has proved himself now in every other way as knowledgeable!”

I realized then that I had to get down the hill, and the only way was down the White Dot trail; however, while Bill realized that, he also realized he could have fun while doing so. And as we made our way down, he said to those traveling up, who had to pass Bob, “Hey, you’re going to go pass a guy up there who is 100 years old. His name is Bob. And, he loves it when people recognize him. So, when you go buy him say, “Hi, Bob!” I was amazed, because all those people said, “100 years old, really? Okay, yeah, we’ll say ‘Hi’ to him.” I then said to Bill, “You’re so bad!”

It’s funny to be 47, and then watch Bill, who’s 64, act like a little kid trying to “get” to Bob, who is 76. I guess you can take the kid out of grade school, but you can’t take the grade school out of the kid.

Bill and I stopped and waited for Bob once more, because while Bill wanted to bust Bob's chops, he always made sure we had Bob in our sight. Bill was concerned about Bob’s well-being during the whole trip and even said to me that he thought this trip should be Bob’s last.

When Bob caught up with us for the last time, he said to Bill, “Stop telling people I’m 100, even though I feel like I am!” Bob went on to say, “Jeez, all these people know me, and I don’t remember who they are.” Bill laughed. I rolled my eyes. Bill then said, “Bob, you’re a legend. Everyone knows about you here!” Jeez. If women are catty with each other, then guys are definitely ball busters with each other.

Finally, the trail flatten out, and I said, “Ah, flatness!” To which Bill said, “It never looked so good, right?” I had to agree.

My third fall was due to me turning my foot the wrong way. I could feel myself falling, and I started laughing before I hit the ground. Shouldn’t it always be that way? Immediately, Bill ran up behind me and offered me his hand. I was still laughing, when Bob approached.

Bob said, “Did you fall?”
I said, “No!!!!!”
Bob said, “You’re in denial.”
I said, “I was just getting an up-close-and-personal look at the species of flora and fauna here in the park.”
He laughed.

And here I am, the Exhausted Confident Wanna Be Hiker Chick !



Shortly thereafter, Bill and I made it to the bathroom. When I came out, Bill told me, that upon arrival, Bob whacked Bill with his stick and said, “What lesson have we learned here?”
Before Bill could answer, Bob said, “When you get older, stay on a bike!”

When I came out of the bathroom, I was jotting a few notes down in my notebook. Bob asked me, “Did you finish the story yet?” I said, “No. It’s a work in progress. I’m constantly writing things down.” Then Bill said to Bob, “That’s just what every man wants, a woman who writes everything down!”

We got back to our cars, and Bob said, “You know what I’m having tonight?” I asked, “What?” He said, “A pizza from Sal’s and a bottle of wine.” I said, “That sounds good.” And so, I shall be. ♥

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls Suzebabe Note: As I traveled up the Mount, I found a few places where there were waterfalls.



Okay, so these are not like the ones in Hawaii; but, they were mini-me waterfalls!

They were beautiful and made lovely sounds, and they reminded me of you. So, here they are for you, my dear. ♥

Since I avoided “Climb Every Mountain” as my "begin" soundtrack, I felt compelled to include one of my favorite songs from the Sound of Music here. My favorite song is “Edelweiss,” because my Mom loved that. But, this one is my second favorite.

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