Today, I had to take a day off from Fierce and Psycho Cycling Chick Inc. to attend to my other job, which is that of Fierce and Psycho Momcat. Does anyone remember and love the Kliban cats like I do?!
One Christmas, I gave my Mom a plastic checkbook cover with "Momcat" on it. And, I still have the Kliban t-shirt I got in Hawaii in 1986 when Suze and I went on our wild&crazy (okay, not really, more like giddy&waterfallhuntingwhennotseeingbarracudas) trip there. Here's the t-shirt.
It is my oldest t-shirt, and I'm sure if someone got me on "What Not to Wear" (don't you dare, cuz I always look good, err, except when I sport that take-Nate-to-high-school-at-dawn-in-yoga-pants-and-a-baggy-sweatshirt-with-pink-Crocs-with-socks look) that Stacy and Clinton would pitch it right in that trash bin! My oldest t-shirt used to be one that my friend, Bitsy, gave me in 1984. She got it in NYC and on it was a huge cat towering over a skyscraper; below the picture, it said "Catzilla." I finally had to throw it away, because it was just about ready to self-destruct.
Anyway, I started as Momcat at 8am this morning, helping Iz with her Summer homework -- again; she starts school tomorrow, and we had about 20 more pages of writing and math ahead of us. As I said, "Okay, you have one dime here and two pennies," she wrote down "10 + 2 =" and then pondered the answer. "Twelve, Mommy?" I said, "Yes, that's right, Iz." I really had to muster all my patience for these 20 pages. As she wrote her "6" backwards, she'd say, "Is this backwards?" I swear she kept doing that just to see if I was still paying attention!
It was funny, because I remembered doing the same type of math sheet with the coins in first grade. And, does it mean you're not that old when you remember doing a worksheet in school over 40+ years ago?
I remember my first grade teacher was Mrs. Moyer. God, she was awful. She was not very kid friendly, which is obviously a really bad personality trait when you're a teacher, and she had a totally cruel but apparently 1968-acceptable way of dealing with children who talked too much in class; she taped their mouths shut with masking tape! Jeez, could you even imagine that going on in a first grade classroom today?
We had one particular chatty Kathy in our class. No. It wasn't me. I liked to talk then and still do, but I was totally scared silent by an authority figure and sadistic punisher like Mrs. Moyer. Poor Gayle Howes. Yes, I will never forget her name. A beautiful and lovely girl, who I went to school with through the 12th grade, yet whenever I saw her, even years later, all I could think about was her with her mouth covered in masking tape looking like an unfinished mummy of sorts.
At 8:45, I had to leave to pick up Nathan from soccer practice, which had started at 7am, and I told Iz it was time for her to take a juice box break. I fetched Nathan, and we headed home, but not before stopping at his gas station (Dunkin' Donuts) and filling him up with two ham and cheese croissants and a bottle of orange juice.
When I got home, Iz said, "Mommy, don't forget. We need to finish my homework!" How could I forget?! This was our last piece of pre-first-day-of-school unfinished business. The school supplies were bought, and so were the new backpack and lunchbox. And, no, I wasn't with her when she bought them, so I did not influence the decision in any way, I swear!
So, I sat down on the bed next to her, and at 11:15, we finished all the worksheets. We were both relieved and elated. Did you ever notice how difficult it can be to identify some of those pictures? Is that a nut or a baby swaddled in a blanket?! Is that a tub or a cup with handles?! Is that a rock or a potato?! Okay, maybe it was just me with only cup of coffee in me, but sometimes I found the pre-1st grade worksheets challenging!
At 11:40, I was off with Nathan to the dentist. He hadn't been since he had gotten his braces on about 4 years ago. I always found his whole orthodonture experience to be a bit misleading. "He'll only need a palate expander" went to "He'll need braces for a year" to "He'll need braces for two years" to "Maybe they'll come off in 8 months" to "Maybe they'll come off in 6 months." I know that no science is exact, but it made me wonder.
At noon, we arrived at the dentist's; about 5 minutes later, Nathan was called in. Given that he hadn't been in so long and that he drank root beer by the case, I was prepared for "He'll need to have 5 cavities filled" at the end of the visit. I started to read my book, and when I finally looked at my phone, 50 minutes had gone by. I was now thinking that it was "He'll need to have 10 cavities filled and two root canals," given that he had been in there for so long. About 5 minutes later, my phone buzzed; it was a text message from Nathan.
"Save me!"
I texted him back asking, "What is going on in there?!?!!?"
He answered, "Slowly dying."
I then asked, "Can I have your X-box then?!"
About 5 minutes later, the door opened and he came out with the dental tech. This was it; I would be spending a lot of afternoons here the next month. Nathan's mouth, after a few thousand in orthodonture, now needed thousands in dentistry! She walked over to me and said, "Everything looks good; we're waiting on the x-rays, but we'll call you if anything is wrong there."
I wanted to hug her until she looked down into her folder and said, "But....he missed having the coating put on his 12-year-molars when he was 14." Or, was it that he missed having the "coating" on his 12-year-old molars when he was 12. I didn't really understand it, so I said, "A coating?" She told me they seal the teeth with something to prevent them from getting cavities, and that Nathan had had this done before to other teeth. Okay, that made sense to me, though this was the first time I believe I ever heard about it; perhaps it was something they always did automatically when he was at an appointment.
And a coating to prevent cavitities?! Did you ever notice that all the good stuff happens when it's too late for you? Like the elementary school got the cool swingset/jungle gym the year you moved up to middle school? Or after you spent $100 at Ann Taylor Loft, you get a coupon in the mail the next day for 20% off your entire purchase? Where was sealant for teeth when I was drinking Pepsi like water in high school?! :-)
Anyway, I liked her short and sweet explanation. When at the orthodontist's, the technician always came out along with Nathan and said something like, "In response to the stimulus of pressure, cells within the bone and periodontal ligament differentiate to form specialized cells called osteoclasts which are associated with bone resorption in advance of the moving tooth. In response to the stimulus of tension, other cells differentiate to form specialized cells called osteoblasts, which produce bone behind the moving tooth" when for my purposes an "Everything looks fine, and we'll see him in 6 weeks" comment would have been much more appreciated and understandable!
Anyway, she was not sure if the insurance coverage for the "coating" or "sealant" expired when Nathan was 14; otherwise, it was $65 per tooth for the procedure. She said that the receptionist was going to call the insurance to check while we waited. As I sat there, Nathan nonchalantly opened his phone, turned it around to use the camera, stuck it in front of his mouth, and took a picture. I laughed and said, "What are you doing? Taking a picture of your teeth?" He said, "Yeah, why not?" I then said, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't talk given what I take pictures of." He then said, "Yeah, no kidding, Mom!"
We were then informed that it was going to take a few telephone calls and website visits to find the answer to the insurance question, so we were not only cavity-free but we were also free to leave. I looked at the time, and I had about 30 minutes to get Nathan to his next soccer practice.
When we were in the car, I remarked how wonderful it was that Nathan had no cavities, and I wished that they had this sealant stuff when I was young, because then I probably wouldn't have had any cavities. Nathan said, "You have cavities?!!?!?" I said, "Err, yes. And, I have this nice gold crown, too!" Nathan twisted his face up and said, "Ewww. How did you get that?" I told him it was from being a "fireball cruncher." Nathan asked, "Aren't you supposed to suck on those?" I said, "YES; hence, that's why I have the crown!"
I remembered when I first looked in my mouth after having the crown done and being horrified. I was reminded of Flavor Flav's grill, except this small little grill on my rear molar was not so obvious, well, to others. Every time I looked at it, I thought "That gold should be in my ears or hanging around my neck not on my molar!" It also would have been nice to still have the $1400 that the whole procedure cost after insurance, but, looking on the bright side, at least I still have all my own teeth. I guess the thing that bothers me most about getting old is the thought of ever having to have dentures. I'd ride that tricyle bike before I'd ever want to wear dentures!
Anyway, the rail trail just called and said I'm late for my second job (about 7 hours!), so, off I go -- Fierce and Psycho Momcat Cycling Chick. Actually, I think I've finally got the proper job title there. <3
