In Search of...

Blog soundtrack:



Remember the TV show called “In Search of…” that was on in the 70s? If not, here’s a refresher: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Search_of..._(TV_series).

Here were the top 10 episodes from one season:
Lost Dutchman Mine
Count of Saint-Germain
Firewalkers
The Mayans of Mexico
Astrology
Michael Rockefeller
Hurricanes
Ogopogo Monster
Pyramids of Egypt
Dead Sea Scrolls

If they were to ever bring this show back, I’d like to see an episode called “The Perfect Travel Mug.” Yes, seriously! I travel; therefore, I need the perfect travel mug. I’ve had a long struggle with travel mugs, even longer than the job-finding ordeal. I have four travel mugs, and they all stink for various reasons.

How hard could it be to find a good travel mug when there must be thousands of them right at my Internet-connected fingertips, right? For example, check out this travel mug gem (http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=12350300&sourceid=44444444440153294342); it plugs into your cigarette lighter and even has a temperature gauge. If there’s a mini TV screen on the other side that plays old episodes of Law & Order, I’m putting it on my Christmas list!

I know it seems silly, but I have high standards for my travel mug. It must be microwavable, dribble-proof, fit in my Saab cup holder, and not make my coffee taste like dishwashing soap it was washed with. Thus far, all my travel mugs have failed me miserably.

Here are my first generation travel mugs.



The first reason they all stink is because they’ve got metal on them. I like my coffee hot. Yeah, doesn’t everyone when it’s not iced coffee? No, I like my coffee really hot; that is, I microwave it after it comes out of the coffee pot! Hey, you all knew I was craz…err, different, right?

And, I’m not too terribly familiar with the science behind travel mugs, but is metal the only thing that keeps the coffee hot? Can’t someone come up with something else that will keep coffee just as hot but be microwaveable? Note to the Mad Scientists Reading My Blog: Figure this out in your lab in the basement and get back to me, will you?

The truly annoying thing is that I need my coffee (and travel mug) the most these days when I have to leave the house at 6:30 in the morning to drive Nathan to school; thus, if I really want to use one of these mugs, I have to microwave the coffee in a cup and then pour it into the travel mug; and who needs one extra step at 6:30 when you're half asleep, huh?!

The second reason they all stink is that it seems none of the tops on any of them are easy to put on, and then once you get the top on (or so you think!), well, put on well enough, coffee still comes spilling out from somewhere when you're driving along! Coffee dribbles down your face, down your shirt, and onto your jeans. (When working, it was especially annoying to arrive at work looking like I had a bladder accident!)

The third reason is that none of them are shaped exactly right so that they fit into my little cup holder in the car. "Like one is too skinny, one is too fat, and the other one is too tall or short," said Goldilocks.

Here is the last travel mug I bought, which I thought I think it was the answer to all my travel mug questions.



It was floral (yes, I am a tad bit of a hippy chick), it had no metal, and the top was rubber and fit like a glove! I was so excited. Upon bringing it home, I plopped it on the kitchen counter. Then I opened the top to rinse it out in anticipation of the 6:30am commute to school the next morning.

When I opened the top, I saw a little white piece of paper with a black writing on it inside the cup. I pulled it out, and it read, “Thank you for purchasing your new Lady Jayne Ltd. travel mug!”

Lady Jayne?!?!
So, I can see...
Lady Jayne bras
Lady Jayne body lotion
Lady Jayne depilatory cream
Lady Jayne girdles
Lady Jayne tampons and perhaps even...
Lady Jayne mammo wipes (see http://goddessofallthingslovely.blogspot.com/2009/12/every-breast-is-different.html), but a Lady Jayne travel mug?!

I unfolded the little black and white piece of paper; I think it was the smallest user’s guide I had ever seen in my entire technical writing career. And, you can imagine what this little user’s guide meant -- directions! A travel mug with directions? This was turning out to be one complex travel mug.

Lady Jayne Travel Mug User’s Guide

1. “Hand wash.” NO throwing it in the eighth wonder of the modern world – the dishwasher!
2. “Do not put in microwave.” Oh, no! I was back to dumping my coffee in a mug, microwaving it, and then dumping it into the travel mug!
3. “This product is not intended to be spill proof or leak proof." But, but, but, it's a travel mug! It should be all that and MORE!

Needless to say, the Lady Jayne travel mug might as well be a girdle; because it's something I never use!

This morning, when I got up at 6:20 for the 6:30 commute to school, I thought of my brother-in-law, Kevin. Here's one “quirky” thing about him. Whenever he gets coffee at the local coffee shop, he takes extra cups and tops.

When they make coffee at home on the weekends and he has to go to the dump or drop my nephew off somewhere, he pours the coffee from the pot right into one of those cups. My sister laughed as she told me about this; however, I was beginning to think Kevin had the right idea.

This morning, after rising at 6:20 and visiting Dunkin’ Donuts to get Nathan his favorite breakfast (two ham and cheese croissants, no egg!), I had to agree with Kevin after I got my small caramel coffee.



You can microwave it, if needed. It rarely ever leaks. It fits in my cup holder, and I can recycle the paper and/or styrofoam. Sometimes simplicity still reigns even in 2009. ♥