Training Day

Blog soundtrack:

When I was at the gym about two weeks ago, I saw that the gym had a new trainer, a woman. Earlier in the year, I had received two sessions as a gift with the male trainer at the gym. I used them, but when cycling season came around, I wanted to be outside riding my bike rather than inside pumping iron and running on the treadmill.

Okay, I was never really “pumping iron” then. What I was really doing then was probably the equivalent of lifting cans of lima beans in my kitchen. But, I did try to tone in addition to just doing “cardio.” And, I love the way some people say “Cardio” like they’re saying “Hermes.” “So, then I did my Cardio,” and you’re supposed to be all impressed like they’re using a Birken bag as a gym bag!

Anyway, I saw Sarah’s (the personal trainer) cigar box sitting there on the table all covered in pretty paper with a sign that said, “Win a free personal training session!” All I had to do was fill out a card with the standard information, put it in the box, and wait to see if I won.

I thought positively: “What the heck! Perhaps this IS the time to tone my thighs and arms.” I thought negatively: “Oh, I never win anything. I’m destined to be a tad flabby.” I filled out the card, opened the lid, and put my card in. To my amazement, the box was empty, well, except for my card. I then thought, “Hmm. I think my chances might be pretty good.”

And, I take that back. I had won before. (Well, I had won track competitions, volleyball games, and cycling racings.) But, I had also won two drawings in my life. My first win was at a criterium race in which I competed. I got second in the race at the historic Holman stadium (and I have no idea why it is historic); but, I won the first in the prize drawing, which was a Thule bike rack.

Then about 12 years ago, I won a baking contest at work. I made a pumpkin cake; and, I was told I got second. Everyone wondered why. The perplexing thing about it was that the woman who won made an apple pie in which the skin was still left on all of the apples. I didn’t try it, but I heard it wasn’t good as you can imagine.

After the announcement was made that Patty had won, there were many people whispering back and forth. One of my co-workers, who was a judge, looked at me and said, “What? Your cake was so much better!” Later, a woman from HR came into my office and told me that they had screwed up and awarded Patty first when my cake was voted first. Victory - it’s not as sweet after the fact...in your office!

Anyway, a few days after tossing my card into Sarah’s cigar box, I got an email saying I had won! And, victory is not as sweet when you know you probably had the ONLY card in the box. But, being positive, it was a victory nevertheless.

At 10:30 today, I had a “training” date with Sarah. From the picture on her business card, I became a bit intimidated. Prior to our meeting, she asked me “Are you interested in signing on for training?” I replied that while I would like to, I was unemployed, so I couldn’t.

I told her that I’d just like a 30-minute work-out for my arms and thighs. She responded with, “Ok, so you really need an orientation to use the machines then.” She sounded somewhat disappointed, though I thought I was being honest in that I was asking her to give me 30 minutes of her time instead of 60 minutes.

When I arrived at the gym this morning, I recognized her from her card. I saw her and asked, “Sarah?” She questioned, “Jean?” I said it was me, and then once I had my gym-legal (shoes you hadn’t just worn inside from outdoors) sneakers on, she said, “Come with me.”

I have to say that her hot pink sweat pants with the bedazzled heart on the back of them and her fake French-manicured fingernails did not give me a lot of confidence in her from the get go. And, as Suze says, “Always go with your gut.” My gut was that Sarah was not going to be any good for me, even it was for free in that moment.

She ushered me around to about six different machines that would be good for thighs and arms. At each machine, she demonstrated the exercise and then said, “Well, you can do this later.” I thought I would at least have her with me while I went through the workout on each machine, but no.

After her curt instruction, I would try to use the machine, and then like the game of Twister she’d say, “Elbows in. Pull out. Thrust further forward. Right hand on yellow! Left foot on green” After a whirlwind 15 minutes, I couldn’t remember much of what she said, and then she even asked in a taunting way, “So, do you think you will remember any of this?”

Sarah waltzed off, and then I attempted a bit of what she suggested, but I did forget a lot of it. Retreat! I went back to my usual gym workout. I got on the treadmill and ran 3.5 miles. I didn’t even bother to go back to the machines after that.

Note to Self: When you have money again, don’t hire Sarah with the fake French-manicured finger nails.

I was trying to make an extra effort or perhaps a pre-New Year’s Eve resolution with the weight training. And, that’s the great thing about resolutions; you can make one as soon as you know what one is; thus, 10, 36, 56, or 76, you’re never too old to start over again.

The ironic thing was that Sarah’s last email said: “I'm giving away a SPECIAL OFFER right now! Sign up with me for 2 sessions weekly for 3 months and only pay $55 each week! Get in shape for the holidays NOW... JUMP START your New Year's Resolution!”

It seemed like Sarah didn’t give a hoot about my attempt at a resolution; it only mattered to her that I had the money to retain her. And, she lost my future business today because of that.

Today, I decided that I’m just going to be who I am no matter who I or anyone else thinks I should be. And, it’s always good to have New Year’s resolutions to remind yourself that no matter where you are in life you can always start over even if it’s not at the gym. ♥