Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

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I am not perfect. I just needed to remind myself of that today. I might venture to say that I have perfect imperfections though!

I mentioned to a few people that I had an interview a little over a week ago. Anyway, I found out yesterday that I didn’t get the job. They had found a candidate who had previous experience with products that were similar to theirs, which was perfectly understandable.

Also, while I really wanted to find a job, the job was going to be very challenging for a few different reasons; however, they were reasons I didn’t think I could handle. In a way, I wanted to work, but then again, would it have been the right fit for me, never mind them?

In the end, it probably worked out for the best, but quite honestly, I was still upset about it for some reason. I think it was more the frustration of “When will be the someday that my job will come?” I kept trying to say to myself that “It wasn’t my job,” “A different job will come along,” and “I was very fortunate to even get an interview.” But somehow, I still couldn’t shake whatever sad feelings I was having.

This morning, I got up, and quite unusually, I didn’t bother to change out of my nightgown. I threw on my favorite yellow vintage mohair sweater, put on my fuzzy heart socks, and then went into Iz’s room to roust her out of bed. I trudged down the stairs, made coffee, took Monty out, and then fed Liam, Thunderbolt, and Monty breakfast.

When Iz made it down to the kitchen still a tad sleepy-eyed, she asked, “Mommy, why do you still have your pajamas on?” I think I knew why; however, I told her, “I forgot to change.” After she left for school, I poured myself a second cup of coffee.

As I stood in the kitchen, I glanced at the sofa in the family room; it growled. (Either that or it was Liam politely warning Monty that he would appreciate it if Monty would kindly not sniff his bottom with such great frequency.) Suddenly, I felt my feet starting to move under me. I grabbed the kitchen counter to hold on, as some strong gravitational pull emanated from the family room.

The sofa growled again. It was as if I was in Carol Anne in the movie “Poltergeist” and the sofa was trying to suck me into it! Slowly, I felt my legs moving toward the couch as my fingers were pried one-by-one off the counter top. At 8:00am, my night gown, yellow mohair sweater, fuzzy socks, and me were wrapped up snuggly on the sofa in the big red cat blanket. The sofa then handed me the remote and growled, “USA Network. Law & Order is on from 9-5pm. Check it out, Jean!”

So, what could I do, but sit there for three hours and watch? I did get up once to grab Liam. He stayed for 5 minutes and then left grumbling about some sexual harassment paperwork he needed to file against Monty. It was then that I grabbed onto Iz’s lemur, Sprinkles. Yes, it wasn’t a pretty picture; there I was, a big lump on the couch with the remote and [wince] my daughter’s stuffed animal!

A friend and I agreed yesterday that it was okay to whine, cry, and feel sorry for yourself every now and then; however, we need to add to that list that it’s also okay to become a frumpy-TV-watching-lump when the mood strikes as well!

I know you can’t take any job decision personally. But, sometimes it’s hard not to. I know I’m good at what I do; it is sometimes just a bit disappointing to feel like you’re not the best person for a job, even if you know this is just the way these things go. Err, whine, whine, and whine again. Well, remember, it’s okay for me to do this as long as I don’t make a habit of it, okay?!

At 11am, the sofa force field, which held me captive for the last two hours in its pillow-padded paws, seemed to be waning. And, the episode of Law & Order that had just come on was one I had seen already, um, probably just last week! I took this as my opportunity to escape my Law & Order coma, as I knew my mourning period for this job and the maximum feel-sorry-for-myself time was about to expire.

I threw off the big red cat blanket, tossed Sprinkles on the chair, and stood up. Okay. I could get through this. No. I needed to get through this. The sofa growled a bit and said, “No, no, no! Don’t go. This episode of Law & Order ends differently than it did the last time. Stay!” It then hissed, “Trust me!”

I bolted out of the family room, ran upstairs, and went into my bedroom. I put on my running clothes and gathered up my iPod and my sneakers. I ran a brush through my hair, put on my earrings, rolled on some deodorant, and then spritzed myself with a bit of Hermes.

I already felt much better, and within a minute of the Hermes application, I was melting!!!! Yes, the frumpy-TV-watching-lump had fizzled up, and this was all that was left behind on the bedroom floor!



I had transformed myself into a “gym rat!” in under 5 minutes. This was no easy feat. Remember, I was battling a talking couch that used Jack McCoy and Lennie Briscoe as weapons!

Once I got to the gym, started the treadmill, and cranked up my iPod, I could tell I was definitely in zone, a good one. I started to run faster and harder than I had in ages; however, I do think that was due in part to the fact that I needed to work out a few feelings on that treadmill. Some of it was anger, which was entirely directed at myself.

At the end of my run (30 minutes), I had logged 3.5 miles, probably close to a personal best. I ran the last 2 minutes at 7.5 m.p.h. When I got off the treadmill, a voice from the stair stepper said, “You were really cranking.” I responded, “I have a slight anger management issue today. Fortunately, no people were harmed and only the treadmill took a beating!”

I liked to think I always remain positive; however, today I felt like I let myself down a bit. When you hit a bump in the road, it will rattle you, but keep on driving…and/or beat the sh*t out of the treadmill nearest to you! Most importantly, never deny how brilliant you are even if it seems like someone is telling you that you’re not (especially when you know they’re not). ♥

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