Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It's a Small World, But I Do Want to Paint It

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My blog title is borrowed. It’s a play on a classic Steven Wright one-liner: “It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.” I thought as I left the mall yesterday; it is a small world, and perhaps it’s been made even made smaller by the Internet which, by the way, I helped to invent when I first worked at Digital Equipment Corporation!

(Note to Potential Employers: That thingy about the Internet is not on my resume, because I didn't want to boast; however, it is mentioned on my wiki page! Oh, or is it mentioned on my other wiki page? I forget!)

When at the mall, I realized that I had been carrying around my pearls in my bag for about two weeks. I guess I was just waiting to bump into a jeweler on one of my various mall trips. About three months ago, the clasp came undone from the string, and they had been un-wearable since then.

Gasp!
I feel your “Gasp!” because it was once my “Gasp!” What was I to do without my pearls?
How did you survive, Jean? We know
everything looks better with pearls.
Fortunately, I have many sets of pearls, though they are fake except for the injured strand.
Good idea, Jean!
Remember, Grasshoppers: Always carry jumper cables, wear clean underwear, and have a spare set of pearls!



So, I happened to walk by a jewelry store at the mall, and the light bulb over my head triggered the one in the deepest pocket of my oversized bag. In turn, this then made the little plastic bag that held my pearls blink on and off. Okay. You know that’s not true, but wouldn’t it be great if you got reminded like that sometimes?!

I said then said, “Hmmm. What’s that blinking in my purse? Oh, it’s my pearls. And, what do you know? I’m here at a jewelry store!” I entered the store, went up to a sales associate, and I asked if they could repair them. She said she could send them out for an estimate.

So, here’s where I have to tangent off for a moment...

My blog has been great for many reasons.

1. It’s been great writing here.
2. My audience is the best.
3. One of the most interesting aspects has been hearing from two people I have never met, but I have mentioned them in a roundabout way in my blog.

I heard from DJ Krauthoff, who is the granddaughter of Tabitha Turner Dumper Krauthoff; I showed her grandparent’s headstone in a
blog. Then I heard from a person whose name, Kandi Koski, I saw at the mall, who I then turned into a character of my own and wrote two stories about her. And, the real Kandi Koski found my blog!

Before I tangent back again…

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?” ~Steven Wright

Okay, I’m going to tangent back now…

While the sales associate at the jewelry store was taking my information, I glanced around the store. A gold nameplate caught my eye. On it , it said, “Manager: Kandi Koski.” I had forgotten that this was the jewelry store in which I first saw Kandi’s name three and a half years ago. And, here she still was!

So, I decided I must meet her; however, I was unsure of how to inquire after her. I thought about saying, “Um, I’m looking for Kandi, because I love her name. Well, I wrote a story about her. The story wasn't about her per say; I just used her name. You see, there was a character I created with her name. So, do you think she’d want to talk to me, err, if you don’t already think I’m a lunatic?” Yes, I had better think about that introduction more!

When I go to pick up my pearls, I’m going to ask for her. I painted a picture of Kandi. It’s only fitting that I meet her, so the real Kandi can finally color my world.

It’s trite, but it’s true. What a difference a day makes. I heard from Macy’s today. Unfortunately, I hoped I would be greeted with rouge and red lipstick; however, I was given rejection.

They emailed me (What? Doesn’t anyone say it with flowers anymore?!) to say they had “carefully reviewed” my “skills and qualifications.” But, in the end, Macy’s said “We do not have an appropriate position that matches your experience and skill set.” In the last 15 years, I had figured out telecommunications (more or less!), network performance monitoring software, and motherhood; however, obviously, the skill required to sell cosmetics at Macy’s still alluded me somehow. Okay. Whatever!

After a few tears, which were bound to occur given that water usually follows open floodgates, I was reminded of the Macy’s questionnaire. Okay, I felt it was really psychological profiling masquerading as a questionnaire! So, I questioned myself.

You might take job rejection personally.
Strongly Agree
You will go apply at Sephora.
Agree
You will get a job soon.
Neutral
You think “I won’t keep my chin up.”
Disagree
You believe life is not full of setbacks.
Strongly Disagree

Yesterday, I was going to paint the world with Benefit concealer, Vincent Longo eye shadow, Dior mascara, Laura Geller blush, and Tarte lip gloss. Today, I’m picking up my crayons, my coloring book, and I'm determined to find another place to color.


When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Make Their Cat Look Like a Sea Urchin to Cheer Themselves Up Note:



(I’ve used this song before, but it’s apropos, and it always reminded me of Suzebabe.)

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1 comment:

Worshipful Flea said...

You are resilient, brilliant, and just so darn cute! Go get 'em, tigress!