Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tuesday's Trials and Tribulations...on Wednesday

I had occasion today to start my dinosaur of an old laptop. I can’t believe how slow and klunky it is. I guess I’ve been truly spoiled by my wonderful new PINK, light weight, and superduper speedy laptop.

And, I can't stress the importance of living pink enough. This was on Iz's new Barbie -- Party Rule #1: Wear pink! And, Barbie can't be wrong. Why? Because she's Barbie, a plastic fashion doll icon! And, kudos to Brenda on the pink phone cover, which she said reminded her of me.

Anyway, I digress in pink. So, I was searching for some writing I had done a while ago on the old dinosaur laptop. In the search process, I bumped into a bunch of stories that I had written to several friends in email over the years.

I didn’t consider myself a creative writer until about three years ago. The first story that I had published, “The Conshohocken Woman’s Club,” was written as an email to a friend. As it turns out, I wrote a lot of stories in email to friends.

And once again, I thank Suzebabe. I remember after sending her one email story, she responded with "I love it when you write." And, I think I still have that printed email somewhere. If not, it's been ingrained in my brain and my heart for many years now.

Anyway, here’s one story I thought was particularly amusing (well, at least to me!), which I wrote almost five years ago, that I thought I’d share. Oddly, even though I’m unemployed now, life is still as challenging as it was in these days.

Blog soundtrack:



Tuesday's Trials and Tribulations

I think I'm too tired to tell you about them....ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzz.
Well, maybe not.
Me, I can never be quiet, can I?!
Well, you see, Tuesdays are terribly tough and tedious.

Of course, Nathan and Connor loves Tuesdays because as Connor says, "Tuesdays are great, because I have art, you take us to McDonald's after, and then if I call my Mom and act sad enough, she doesn't make me go to Boy Scouts, so I can play World of Warcraft with Nathan."

Well, I'm glad that Tuesdays are good for Nathan and Connor, because to me, that's what matters most. It's ironic that your worst day is often their greatest day, but then again, that's what parenthood is all about.

At 2:00pm, I leave work, stressing out due to traffic considerations. I fret due to lane closures on Rt. 3. This a notorious highway if you live in MA or NH with a l-o-n-g history of improvement, much like the ill-fated "Big Dig", that seems to go on and on forever; a minute after I get in the car, I worry I won't make it to pick up Nathan and Connor on time.

At 2:37pm, I make it to the Middle School. I see Nathan, Connor, and Chris make their way toward the car. Of course, Nathan still feels he has to ask if Chris, Connor's older brother, can have a ride home. I always find this funny since Connor and Chris practically live at the house when Nathan is home. I say to Nathan, like I've said a thousand times before, "Of course, Chris can have a ride home."

At 2:45pm, we arrive home. Nathan takes the dog out, and then asks like he has a thousand times before, "Um, after I take Monty out, can we use your computer?" I say, "Yes." And, I head upstairs to boot my work laptop, hoping to at least log in before it's time to leave again. I log in, get into a writing groove, and when I look at the time on my computer, and I say to myself, "Crud! It's time to leave again!"

At 3:30pm, I say, "Nathan and Connor, it's time to head out to art class." I hear the computer shut down, lots of fumbling as shoes are put on (they are trying to squeeze their feet into their shoes without untying them, because it would be way too much work to untie them!), and then we head out to the car.

At 3:37pm, I am mumbling under my breath, telling myself that I should have left 5 minutes earlier, because we are stuck behind an elementary school bus on East Main Street, which stops every 20 feet or so it seems to me! Finally, before the rotary, the bus makes a u-turn and heads back up Main Street.

At 3:48pm, we are on Route 2, and Nathan and Connor discuss the pros and cons of being "A level 5.” One of them goes on to say, “You get 10 extra life force if you have magma, but if you don't have magma, then you don't have any extra life." I hope they're talking about the computer game that they were playing before we left not some guidelines for passing the state middle school exams.

At exactly 4:01pm, we arrive at the art school. Nathan and Connor jump out of the car, and I'm left to figure out which way is best to proceed on 2A. Of course, I know it doesn't really matter, because as soon as I get home, I know that I have to go pick up Isabelle and then turn around and head back to pick up Nathan and Connor from art school.

At 4:10pm, I'm headed back down Route 2 wondering how much work I'll be able to get done on the OVPA collection wizard before I have to leave again to pick up Isabelle.

At 4:28pm, I arrive home. I run upstairs, log on, download a new .jar file for the collection wizard, and I attempt to update my documentation.

At 4:50pm, I look at the time on my computer, and I say to myself, "Crud! It's time to leave again!"

At 4:55pm, I hop into the car and head to get Isabelle.

At 5pm, I arrive at Kiddie Depot. I walk into Iz's classroom and shout, "Isabelle!" She looks up and shouts in response, "Mommy!"

At 5:01pm, I pick her up, gather her belongings (her raincoat, the hat she will never leave home without, and her kitty sweater), and we head towards the door.

At 5:02pm, Isabelle protests our departure and says, "High five, Emmy!" So, we go back to the play area, and she gives Emmy a high five.

At 5:03pm, we head towards the door again.

At 5:04pm, Isabelle protests again and says, "Zachy high five!" So, we go back to the play area, and she gives Zachy the high five.

By 5:10pm, Isabelle has given the high five to every child and teacher in her classroom.

At 5:11pm, we are in the car headed toward the art school to get Nathan and Connor.

At 5:13pm, we hear Dave Matthews' "American Baby" on the radio. Isabelle sings along. "Stay, American Baby, why don't you stay beautiful waaaaaaaaaaayyyydie." The song ends, and Isabelle says, "Again!" I try to explain that the song is on the radio not on my iPod, so I cannot play the song again, because I didn’t bring my iPod.

At 5:15pm, Isabelle voices her dissatisfaction that I cannot play "American Baby" again.

At 5:16pm, I offer Isabelle food to make her forget about *&^%$# Dave Matthews. Isabelle accepts said bribe of raisins and Pepperidge Farm goldfish.

At 5:20pm, I end up in a queue at the rotary, and I again chastise myself for not leaving earlier. Fortunately, Isabelle is still enjoying her snack, but not enough that she doesn't ask, "Daddy home?" To which I respond, "Daddy is coming home on the airplane tonight." Of course, I can't get perturbed with her asking me for the third time since I've picked her up; I often ask myself the same question, especially later, after I spilled her dinner all over the floor, while trying to juggle four pets and Nathan and Connor, although my question was more like, "When the hell is he going to get home?!"

At 5:36pm, we arrive at the art school. Isabelle immediately asks, "Connor here?" I tell her that yes, we are picking up Connor and Nathan.

At 5:38pm, Nathan and Connor get into the car, and Isabelle immediately starts to "tickle tickle" Connor the minute he sits down next to her. Nathan and Connor critique their artwork all the way home. Connor: "I like my giraffe better than my flowers. I want to frame my giraffe." Nathan: "Well, Connor, I think your flowers were better." Connor: "Nathan, I think your boat was the best." Nathan: "Thank you, Connor; however, it was nothing like your interpretation of the mountain goat three weeks ago." Okay, I made some of that conversation up, but that's pretty much how it went.

At 5:42pm, Isabelle is doing everything she can to get Connor's attention. She's leaning her head on his shoulder, she's trying to share her crackers with him, she's offering him her juice; however, that Connor, well, he's a tough nut to crack. Isabelle gives up and starts to give Connor the cold shoulder.

At 6pm, we arrive at McDonald's. Nathan and Connor order the "usual", and the minute we pull out, Isabelle is asking for fries. Of course, Isabelle is now rethinking the cold shoulder strategy she used on Connor and now she puts her head on his should and asks, "Fries?!"

At 6:02pm, we determine that the fries are too hot for human consumption. It's a l-o-n-g five minute ride home waiting for the French fries to cool off.

At 6:07pm, we arrive home. Of course, there are even more challenges after that. As I said previously, Isabelle's dinner went all over the floor, two school lunches had to be made, cat boxes had to be cleaned, coffee had to be set up to brew at 7am the next morning, and so on.

By 6pm, I estimated that I've been in transit for 4+ hours, but it was all more than worth it.

You know, given what I do in four hours on a Tuesday, well, I surely think that I could do all that I do and be the National Security Adviser, too. Condi's got it easy, I think, compared to the rest of us working Moms.

And on that note, good night.

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