You're Not Going to?!?!?

I have a reputation; worst of all, it’s a reputation I’ve earned at work. Okay, it’s not that kind of reputation; it’s a reputation for being an extreme runner or a runner who goes to extremes. Well, when I figure it out, I’ll let you know; since it's a reputation, it must be written on a bathroom wall somewhere at work.

As most of my Northeast readers know, it was again hot as Hades today. It was even worse than yesterday, and so bad that I had to tell my cat, Thunderbolt, what to do this morning. As most of you know, it’s pretty difficult to tell a cat what to do, but today, I said, “No, Thunderbolt. You’re not going outside today!”

He listened and he processed my words. Well, he was processing my words or contemplating using the litter box just then. I couldn’t be sure; however, he sauntered off toward the kitchen, which was on the way to the litter box in the basement, twitched his tail, and then said, “Well, you shouldn’t run outside today either!”

Anyway, since starting my new-old job, cycling has become a weekend-only endeavor for me. Good thing, too, because I think I used up two of my nine cycling lives yesterday. When at work, I run at lunchtime with my friends, Tom and Amrit.

When my job was just old (when I was employed the first time by my company) and not new-old, there was a larger group of us that would run every day. I’d send the “running” email, which was just that; it asked, “Running?!?!?!” Why the excessive use of question marks and exclamation points?

They don’t have an article about this in Runner’s World magazine. Believe me, I know this because I wrote this article and submitted it several times; however, for some reason, they never responded to me. Anyway, if truth be told and running secrets were divulged, you’d know that punctuation can be highly motivational when it comes to running.

Let’s compare in side-by-side (not really, but who cares, because I want to sound like a commercial!) sample emails.

"Running?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

versus

“Anyone want to think about maybe going for a short plod around the parking lot sometime today if the cafeteria is not serving tacos for lunch…”

Which one wants to make you jump out of your office chair, grab your sneakers, and run a brisk 5K? As you can see, the question mark-exclamation combination always reigns supreme over the ellipsis. I rest my case, and you don’t know what you’re missing Runner’s World!

Of course, I ran every day when my job was old, and there were rumors swirling around the running group when everyone wasn’t thinking about tacos that 1) I might be a bit crazy for running every day 2) I’d be all the wiser for stretching (bah, humbug!), and 3) I could be Polish royalty (Princess Janina) given my penchant for tiaras and my inclination toward pink; pink is the color of the Polish flag; okay, in my Poland, the flag is pink with Hello Kitty even when it’s red with some fierce bird on it!

When I was sitting at my desk this morning, my friend, Lisa, passed by on her way to stock the refrigerator in the kitchen. We discussed weekend events, which turned out weren’t too exciting for either of us. Then Lisa said, “You’re not going to run outside today, are you?”

I had to laugh. Princess Janina was the non-stretching daily runner who was now known to risk heat stroke by running outside. I told Lisa that I had already given in; I hadn’t relinquished my title, my tiara, or started to stretch or run every other day. I told her I had already decided to run at the gym.

After Lisa left, I began to contemplate work when I wasn’t thinking of my coronation party once Poland realized that they needed me back, albeit to rule over a track team comprised of 8-year-olds. I glanced at my phone and saw it blinking “Text message! Text message!” I read the message from one of my friends; it said, “I hope you don’t run today; it’s just too hot!”

I wrote back that I was going to be sensible about the heat and go to the gym. As far as everything else went, I would continue on in Princess Janina fashion. Beside, I knew Thunderbolt was right; and if you can’t trust a cat, who can you trust?

When it was close to noon, I closed my Internet browser; I sent my Punctuation as a Running Motivator article to Runner’s World again, because perhaps the 103rd time was the charm. I gathered my running things and headed down to the locker room to change. When I arrived, I was greeted by a fellow exercise enthusiast, who I didn't know that well but had exchanged chit-chat with two or three times since I had been back.

She gave me a big smile and said, “Hi.” I said, “Hi.” And within a minute she asked, “You’re not going to running outside, are you?”

Did I always give off this “Crazy woman that will run in any kind of weather” vibe or was it just today? When one person tells you something about yourself, you say, “Well, that’s only one opinion;” however, when three people question your running sanity, it’s time to take heed. I laughed and answered sweetly, “Why no! You’d have to be crazy to think you’re a Polish princess and to run outside on a day like this.”

So, I headed off to the gym. I ran my 30 minutes and headed back to work. As I drove over to the building from the gym, I looked at my shirt; I was drenched. For a moment, I thought, “Given all this sweat, I should have just run outside today!” but no one would respect a Polish princess who was stupid enough to get heat stroke!

When I entered the reception area, Barbara was at the desk. She looked at me funny. It was not a look that said I was a crazy woman who thought I was a Polish princess; it was a look that said I was a totally pathetic sweaty mess.

I felt compelled to say something since I was now on the defensive about my well-known tendency to run when it was too hot outside. I said to Barbara, “And, do you know that I didn’t even run outside today!” She said, “Really? Because you still look pretty bad!” When I become the Princess of Poland, I will make sure that Barbara drives a Buick Roadmaster for a while instead of one of those cute little clown cars!

I showered and then was back at my desk googling “Pink coronation invitations.” Obviously, I had a reputation; however, just when you think it’s one you’re stuck with, it all can all change in an instant. A lovely blonde woman can pop her head in your office and erase “For a crazy running time, call Jean” from the bathroom wall.

She said in a lovely Southern accent, “I just wanted to tell you that dress you’re wearing is so cute. Is it a Lily?” I thought, “Wow, that’s a very good guess.” I then answered, “No. It’s not. It is a vintage dress though; most of the dresses I wear are vintage.”

She introduced herself and said, “I can’t believe they didn’t introduce you around.” She was new and in Revenue; I was new-old, wearing new-old clothes, and in Documentation. I knew I was a tad stubborn when it came to running; however, I loved the fact that when she walked out of my cube she said, “You always look so nice,” thus giving me a new reputation far more fitting for a princess!

No. I didn’t tell her that I was a Polish princess. I didn't want that reputation, because then everyone at work would want to come to my coronation party. And, instead, Princess Janina says, "Let them eat tacos in the cafeteria!" ♥