In the Deep End with No Life Jacket

Today, instead of “life,” I could feign that “work” got in the way of my blog; however, how much fun would that be? I was told yesterday that I needed to get a draft of a guide out tomorrow. Of course, this sent me into total panic mode.

I was talked off my ledge yesterday by an expert Documentation Hostage Negotiator. Okay, he was really an engineer, but as I babbled to him, he said, “This is where I’m just supposed to listen, feel your pain, and not say anything, right?” He was so right when my day seemed so wrong.

My company had outsourced all its documentation, and then a year later, they realized it wasn’t working. This is why I was hired back. The difficult thing was that they now expected me to right a year’s worth of wrongs in 2.2 weeks (that is, the total time I had been employed).

Their request was not impossible. It was just going to be stressful for a bit. I wanted to make it work for them, though I might be naïve for doing that given they laid me off without a second thought. But, this was how I felt and for now I was sailing on that tack. (Did I get that right, Steve? Or was I tacking that tack? Or was this the tack I was taking with tact? Okay, we’ll discuss that one later.)

When I got my new-old job back, it was a bad-good thing. I loved being home, but I loved the thought of being off unemployment and using my brain. While my blog had used my brain in one way, my brain always lacked gratification in another area. Queue themes from Law & Order and CSI!

I was totally under pressure the last 24 hours, and I will be until Monday COB (close of business). I met with a lovely engineer today for two hours. He helped me immensely.

Before my new-old job, my brain had somewhat been on ½ empty; however, as he and I exchanged information today, my brain started to fill up. I then realized that technical writing satisfied the CSI-Law & Order part of my brain. In some ways, technical writing was like solving a mystery and then writing about it. (Maybe this is why I always loved Agatha Christie so much!)

My biggest fear about going back to work had been about my kids; however, today, I realized that the new-old job that was a good-bad thing was really a win-win situation for all of us. I could write technically by day, write creatively by night, and my kids were really no worse for wear as long as they knew that I was always there for them wherever I was.

When I picked Iz up at camp, I asked, “How was your swimming lesson today? Did you advance?” When I glanced at her in the backseat, she looked like she was going to fall asleep. She perked up and said, “Yes! I’m now in the deep end with no life jacket!”

When I started my new-old job, I felt the same way every now and then and especially today. I knew exactly how she felt. I also knew that whether I was home or at work, she and Nathan would still be in the same place they are now, thriving and content.

And, no matter how I looked at my new-old job, it was a win-win situation. Unlike Iz, I still needed a life jacket in the deep end. And, I was fortunate I had friends like Brenda, TomB, TomS, GilF, and Jeff who were the life jackets in my deep end. ♥

Nathan Tried to Join the Report Card Witness Protection Program Note: So, has Nathan told Quinn about his report card yet? I just wanted to state for the record that there were no Ds; however, there were a few Cs that I felt should have been Bs. In Nathan’s defense, he was taking two AP classes, playing soccer, and working at the local golf course two or three nights while attending school. And, yes, I already told Nathan that if he should choose to hire Jean, Attorney at Report Card Law, I would build him a lovely defense and conveniently forget about all the time he spent playing X-box when he could have been fine tuning his English essay! (Feel free to comment, Cathy, you real Attorney at Law You. ♥)

At about noon, my cell phone rang while I was sitting at my desk; I glanced at the phone and saw it was home (read “Nathan”) calling. I wondered if I was going to be chastised for not buying bagels or for forgetting to fill his glass swan bowl with M&Ms in his absence. Oddly, while children of this age assure you that they can easily go off (with both hands tied behind their backs but with your credit card) and survive without you, they get really pissed off when they arrive home and find that you’ve let them survive without you.

I said, “Hello.” Nathan said, “You’re going to a friend’s house tonight. You won’t be home until 11pm, so you will need me to babysit Iz and have me stay over.” I laughed and then said, “Nathan, you have to face the music sooner or later.”

I heard a sigh, and Nathan quickly said, “Oh, I’m just kidding.” Being the good cop parent, I said, “We can go with that script if you want to.” He said, “Nah, really, I was just kidding. ”

When I arrived home, I immediately got back into the car and turned around to drive Nathan back to his Dad’s. He said, “I’ll drive.” I said, “No! I’ll drive.”

There was a car rule in regard to driving; actually, I never had this rule, though Nathan implemented it the day he got his license. The rule (read “Nathan”) dictated that the person who drove the got to play his/her music while on the trip.

I was too tired to elbow Nathan in the gut, hoping that he still had jet lag, and knock him to the ground so I could commandeer the driver’s seat. I heaved a oh-jeez-I-can-handle-his-music-for-15-minutes sigh, and I got in the passenger’s seat. Nathan sat in the driver’s seat claiming his right to annoy me with his tunes for the next 15-minutes.

When he put these “shades” on to drive, I almost laughed hysterically.



Instead, I said, “Where did you get those?”
He said, “Europe.”
I wanted to say, “Surely, you don't think your Dad won’t recognize you in those shades and think the wrong kid has come home from Europe?!” But, I didn’t.

While I was so not digging the long hair and the shades, I said, “Oh. Let me take a picture.” I did, and then I said, “Hey, this would be a good Facebook picture.” Someday when we're looking at old photos, Nathan will see himself, just as I have seen myself a thousand times before in old pictures (read “bad perm”), and say, “Oh, _insert_name_here_, why did you ever let me walk around like that?”

I then boldly asked Nathan if he told his Dad about his report card. He said that he did. Then he said, “I left my will on my bed.”

When we arrived at his Dad’s, he took his back pack out of the trunk; I climbed into the passenger’s seat and thought “Woo-hooo, no music now.” Yes, Nathan’s music was such an assault on my eardrums that I needed silence to console me. I hugged Nathan, and his last words were, “I want to be cremated.”

I try to give Quinn, Nathan’s Dad, the benefit of the bad parent cop doubt, but sometimes it’s hard. When Nathan was in Europe, I told him that he should try to do better and that these grades didn’t define him; he was only 17 and had the rest of his life to make a difference in his grades and in the world. I can only hope that Quinn realizes this someday soon. ♥