Mr. Independent

Blog soundtrack:



It’s not often Nathan and I have disagreements. We always disagree over music. Okay, there might be a few other things like walking the dog, cleaning the litter boxes, and entertaining his sister; all of which he usually finds disagreeable.

Yesterday, I told Nathan he could take the car to school and then drive to TJ Collectibles to buy some Magic cards. Apparently, he and the boys are having a Magic card fest this Friday night. He offered to go and buy a booster packet for each. According to Nathan, they open one pack at a time. Each person grabs a card and then passes it on to the next person. The objective is to build a 40-card deck and…after this, I stopped following the thinking, kept listening, and then I said, “Oh, cool.”

Don’t ask me why they do this? After 14 years of hockey, I’m still trying to get my head around icing, off sides, and why Nathan got a penalty last month because he was “too tall.” Given that I’ve never gotten all the rules straight for soccer, lacrosse, and hockey, I wasn’t about to try to figure out the world of Magic cards. All I really needed to know what that Nathan liked them; thus, I liked them and supported his Magic card hobby by maternal association.

When he left for school this morning, I didn’t think twice about him taking the car. For some reason, his cell phone alarm went off three times, waking me up each time. He gets up early (one alarm), showers, goes back to bed, and gets up again (second alarm); the third alarm must have been thrown in for good measure. Personally, I’d sleep later, get up, shower, and then stay up; however, like Magic cards, I’m not about to figure out or mess with something that works for Nathan.

I heard Nathan leave, because I was up at 6:55 and at 6:30 and at 6am due to his phone. He’s driven himself to school a few mornings now, and when he leaves, I always peek out the bathroom window. For some reason, I’m still worried he’ll walk out of the house without the keys, forget his lunch, or not be able to get the car started. Don’t tell him, because then he’d look at me, roll his eyes, and say, “Mom! I’m not stupid!”

Yeah, well, it’s not because I think you’re stupid. It’s because I want everything to be all right for you. I know what 17 year-olds do; do 17 year-olds ever figure out what Moms do?!

After everyone was off to school, I sat there watching Frasier because Law & Order wasn’t on. I noticed that it had begun to snow. It wasn’t sticking, but I had my doubts about my decision to let Nathan drive 40 minutes via highway to buy his Magic cards after school. At 10:30, I got a text from Nathan that said, “I can get to 495 South from Littleton, right?”

I read it and thought, “Never mind the snow! He doesn’t even know where the highway is!” Just then, I not only doubted Nathan driving in the snow, but I doubted my decision to let him make the trip alone. And, I had typed up and printed out directions for him last night; I didn’t check, but I now wondered if they were on the floor of his bedroom tucked under a Dungeons and Dragons book. Bad weather, bad sense of direction, and was this a bad decision, Mom?

I said, “If the weather is bad, come home. I will go with you. Take a left out of school and entrance to 495 is on right. Or you can go tomorrow….” Nathan said, “That’s what I thought…..I’m going today if it stays like this. I’ll be fine.”

I had my doubts if he would be fine. Okay, he might be fine, but I knew I’d be worrying about him the whole time he was gone. I had to reel this one in.

Mom: If it keeps snowing, I will take you.
Nathan: Don’t be like that. :)
Mom: Don’t want you driving in this!
Nathan: I’ll be fine. If I die, you don’t have to pay for college.

I’m sorry, Nathan, but I didn’t bear you, nurture you, and love you for the last 17 years to lose you in an avoidable car accident. Besides, I always wanted to be a marine biologist, too. If I’m paying for your education, I am going to live vicariously through your college years, so you will go and love it!

Mom: No! I will drive if it is still snowing!!!!!
Nathan: NO. :p
Mom: You are not experienced enough.
Nathan: Yes, I am. If you’re coming with me, you’re listening to my CD with music you’ll hate…a lot!
Mom: I don’t care.
Nathan: I do. I want to be independent. I want a divorce!

A divorce? I thought that was a bit Drama King. But, I had to say that the kid was passionate about doing his own thing and without his Mom along for the ride, quite literally.

Mom: No!!!!
Nathan: Looks fine out to me. I’ll go by myself.

I sensed where he was going with this. As long as I didn’t explicitly say “You can’t drive there by yourself,” Nathan felt he could still make a convincing argument for driving on his own. I should have known this; his third grade teacher, Mrs. Pasqueretta, always said he’d would be a good lawyer or a politician!

Mom: We will see what the weather is like at 1pm!
Nathan: Make me!
Mom: I will take your X-box away!
Nathan: Do!
Nathan: It!

I realized that I didn’t explicitly say “You can’t drive there by yourself,” because I felt guilty. I wanted him to go on his own, but I was worried. Driving 15 minutes to school was one thing; however, driving 40 minutes on the highway seemed like quite another. So, I questioned his driving resume.

Mom: We WILL see how the weather is. Do you even know how to merge onto the highway?!?!?!?
Nathan: Mom, I’ve been on the highway so many times. You have no faith in my lack of driving ability.
Mom: Yeah as a passenger!

No faith in his lack of driving ability? I had faith in his ability. I was concerned about what he lacked, hell ya! Of course, I hit a nerve.

Nathan: Are you kidding me? I’ve been driving on the highway so much with my Dad. I drove to Cape Cod and back.
Mom: We will see how the weather is at 1pm. Period.

“Period.” My Mom always used to verbally punctuate her sentences with that when she meant business. Funny, how you don’t want to be like your parents, but you always end up being like them a bit, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing I’ve found recently.

Nathan: …I have the car you know…. :)
Mom: I can report it stolen you know. :)
Nathan: You’re a kill joy.
Mom: Better to be a kill joy than have a dead boy!
Nathan: Debatable.

Looking to assuage my guilt and find someone who didn’t think I was a kill joy, I called Quinn, Nathan’s Dad. I explained the situation to him. He said, “I wholeheartedly support your position.” So there, Nathan! For a second, I felt like was 8 years old again and had just ratted out my sister to my mother for some bad behavior.

I then said to Nathan, “Discussion to resume at 1pm!” Then to show that I was not bluffing, I put my Parental Power card on the table and said, “And, your Dad agrees with me!” Nathan responded, “What a traitor!”

After 30 minutes, it stopped snowing. And 20 minutes later, it started snowing again. I knew that bad weather or not, I needed to drive with Nathan just to be sure. So, at 1pm I wrote…

Mom: Supposed to snow on and off.* Come home, and then we will go. I rethought it and would rather drive with you this time.
Nathan: NOOOOOO…COME ON!
Mom: Just this time, so I know that you can handle the highway.
Nathan: I’ll be fine :( I gotta stop at my dad’s and make a CD then.
Mom: You have two CDs in the car.
Nathan: New one. :)
Mom: [cringe at the thought of listening to Nathan’s music] Okay, pick me up.

*I didn’t know if it was going to snow off and on. And Brenda the Weather Girl is probably reading this now and saying, “No. It wasn’t!” But, I needed Quinn and the forecast, even if fabricated, on my side!

About 20 minutes later, I got another text from Nathan that said, “If it doesn’t snow hard by 2, then can go by myself?

It was nice to see that Nathan still wasn’t giving up his newly found independence. He had envisioned smooth sailing down Route 495 South with a CD chock full of his favorite music, and I was the one sucking the wind out of his sails. I thought, “Wow, he really wants to be a grown up.” But, I responded with “No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Nathan: I have to learn how to do it by myself eventually!
Mom: I know, but I would like to see how you do today.
Nathan: I’ll do fine. There’s no point of two people dying instead of just me.
Mom: See you when you get here. Period.
Nathan: You’re not my mother anymore.
Mom: Definitely bring MY car back then!

Today, I knew I couldn’t let him drive on his own snow or not. Eventually, I would have to, like maybe when he was 42. But, today was not the day.

Payback is a bitch though. True to his word, Nathan brought a new CD chock full of his music. He had it blasting when I got in the car. Here’s my visual opinion of Powerman 5000. (Seriously, listen to this song for 30 seconds and tell me if your ears don’t start to bleed!)



Nathan glared at me. He then said as if he were talking to Iz, “One of the rules of the car now is that you can’t make fun of the music that is on.” Okay, okay, okay, Nathan!

And, how was Nathan’s driving on the trip? Well, he took the long way to get to Route 495 and almost missed the 495 exit off of Route 2, but that’s nothing a GPS can’t fix. He did a great job. And, I knew he would, but this Mom just needed to be sure. I see his laminated license; but I needed to see the highway driving for myself.

On the trip home, Nathan made it clear that he felt my presence on the trip was a total waste of my time. (Hey, I could have been home doing nothing instead of enjoying time with my son!) But, it wasn’t a waste of my time, because I knew that as he gets older, I’ll spend less and less time with him. No matter how much you look forward to your child being independent, you want to keep that tether, not unlike the one Mrs. Maxant puts on her animals, attached to them for life, never wanting it to grow so long that you can’t easily pull it back to you again. ♥