Bridge over Troubled Waters

Blog soundtrack:

I have to preface this by starting with the "Dear Goddess" mailbox.

Dear Goddess,
2 days and counting…we need a blog update!!!
Signed,
Biker Boy, Austin, TX

Thanks very much for missing me. I took a brief vacation. It was only to my backyard, but I enjoyed it immensely when I wasn’t dodging dog logs and old Xmas trees!

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

In the last week and especially the last day or two, I’ve been a bit down. I know I said this has been a good year, and it has been. I try to dwell on that most of the time; however, life is not without its difficulties, too.

I called to renew my unemployment last week, and I was told that unless they extend benefits, I only have about 8 weeks left. I also found out that a company I thought might want to interview me didn’t want to. I didn’t have the background they were looking for, which was understandable.

Of course, the individual went an extra step to rip apart my resume. “Hewlett-Packard is missing its hyphen.” (I had to laugh about it eventually, because this individual’s critique contained a glaring typo.) And following that, there were the usual life issues that had gotten a hold of me along the way.

So, here’s our art question for today.* What do you get when you mix one part “unknown future,” one part “frustration,” and two parts of self-doubt? If you said the color blue, you were right. (And, you will receive a Goddess of all Things Lovely t-shirt whenever I get some!)

*Iz asked me on the way home from the dentist, "Can we do art today?" I told her we could do some later in the week. Thank the Great Cat Goddess, I have Nathan who doesn't like alcohol, smoking, and isn't into drugs, and I've got Iz who's craving her next Whistler fix!

Marcia, you are right. Some days, all of this, well, it's just not a lovely picture. And, I couldn’t have painted a lovely picture this morning even if I had a paint by numbers kit created by Monet himself.

I heard my Blackberry announce email as I sat on the couch watching Law & Order. It was going to be one of those days. I quickly glanced at my email and saw “Roof trusses” and “Want to go have a look this morning.” After applying for a job posted on Yahoo, I had gotten a lot of “junk” job opportunities mailed to me, and I thought for a moment, “Was I now being offered a job at some fly by night construction company?”

I had another sip of coffee and took a closer look. It was from my cycling friend, Bill. I had mentioned that when we cycled together last year, we had to stop and check on the construction of a covered bridge in Pepperell at least once a week. (Remember, that is where I had my first outdoor peeing experience since Austin, TX? You don’t. How could you forget such a milestone?)

Anyway, Bill loved going to the bridge. Most of the time when we went there, nothing much was happening. But, we’d travel over the temporary bridge on our bikes, stop halfway, and then Bill would explain to me all the things that had gone on and then all the things that were going to go on. We’d bike over to the end, take another look, and then turn around and bike back down the bridge and be on our way.

The last few times Bill asked me to go to visit the bridge, I always had something to do or I was “stuck” on the couch. Today, I emailed him back and told him I wanted to go. I knew I needed a trip out more than I needed another episode of Law & Order, which I most likely had already seen before.

He emailed me back and asked, “Cream and sugar?” The last time Bill and I went off together was when we went hiking up Mount Monadnock. Bill picked me up, and the minute I climbed in, he handed me a coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. And, when he picked me up today, there was my coffee in the cup holder next to his saying, "Good morning! Just what you ordered, cream and sugar!"

As we drove to Pepperell, I blurted out, “This is weird.” He probably wondered what the heck I was talking about. I then quickly said, “It’s odd taking a car to the bridge, because we’re always on bikes!” We both laughed. Navigating your way seems so different when you’re on a bike instead of in a car; in fact, it almost seemed like we were lost.

When we arrived at the bridge, Bill surveyed the area looking for a good place to park. He glanced to the right and said, “Hey, it looks like those timbers are gone. You’re going to have to find a new spot to pee!” I laughed out loud.

Bill parked his truck, and we climbed out to hear the rumble of the massive red crane parked on the bridge. I’d never seen such a big thing in my life. It reminded me of a book my Mom read us when we were little; I thought, "Wow, I can finally understand why Mike Mulligan loved his steam shovel!"

Though the crane was running, there wasn’t much activity. We assumed we had arrived at “coffee break.” We walked down the temporary bridge; and again, it was odd not having my bike attached to my hands when doing so. They had done a lot of work on the bridge since I had last been there.

Instead of looking out over the naked Nashua River between two roads that suddenly dropped off 30 feet, I was looking at something that actually resembled a bridge for the first time. I have to say, it was pretty incredible and quite beautiful.

I know Bill thought at times that I was never into the bridge. Well, some days, I wasn’t, but those were probably those 40-mile-bike-ride days where I was so tired that I just wanted to get home as fast as possible! But, now I could see it all happening, and, in an instant, it all became quite another thing to me.



About 10 minutes later, the crane operator climbed into his cab and the rest of the crew appeared on the scene. I was still fascinated by the crane. Bill told me that the crane operator drove 100 miles each day to work there. Well, I gathered not everyone had a crane like that in their backyard, so it was probably a long distance occupation.

I told Bill I might like to be a crane operator. I noted that he had a lot of down time in his cab. I told Bill, “I can write while I wait!” He laughed and said, “I bet you that guy can operate that crane, but what do you think the chances are that he can write like you?”

As we marveled at it all, Bill said, “Isn’t it amazing that in the 21st century things like this can still be built?” I agreed, and the longer we stood there, the more I wished this whole thing was on cable TV with a narrator so I could watch it at home and know what was going to happen each time the crane rotated around to go to lift something else up into the air.

It sounds odd, but it was all so beautiful to watch. In some ways, it was like watching an art project under construction. And, all of a sudden, I started to cry.

It was the bridge. It was as if I was watching what once had been my life, a large project with goals, deadlines, moving parts and pieces that had been put together carefully over time. It seemed at that very moment, my life had lost all that to some degree. A bit embarrassed, though this was the man who knew I peed behind a pile of timbers, I told Bill I was having a rotten week. He pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to me.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks, and I began to babble. He put his arm around me and listened. He told me about a few of his friends and reassured me that I was in good company in my turmoil, which I knew was true. This morning, I just needed to dwell in my turmoil for a few minutes, and Bill let me.

Lately, I felt like I had been chased by a group of angry villagers named “unknown future,” “frustration,” and “self-doubt” to the edge of a cliff. I know I would never jump, but I couldn’t help but be a bit scared every now and then by the angry mob. Today, I looked out over that cliff, which happened to overlook the Nashua River, and I realized how good it was to have a friend show me that there is always a bridge that will take you over troubled waters.

And, a wise man just said to me just today, “Avert your gaze from the fender benders and dance with them that's brung you.”
So…
Let’s Jitterbug, Jeff.
Minuet, Marcia?
Care to tango, Tomas?
Allemande, Annie!
Bolero time, Brenda!
Twist again, Tunabreath!
Time to Guapacha, Georgie!
Charleston, Cathy?
Let's Swing, Stevearino?
Salsa, Suzebabe?
Cha-cha, Chris?
Vintage, Nancy? (I know that’s not a dance, but we can do the Varsovienne while we try on clothes, Babe!) ♥