I took the day off today to address my huge “to do” list. One of my friends, who hadn’t heard from me all day, wrote me at 4pm and asked, “Are you still to do’nting??” I told my friend I was.
I had spent most of the day getting medical records and trying to make doctor's appointments; yes, I dropped a dime and called Dr. Colon. My last task today was “Call Dell Technical Support about Nathan’s lack of wireless on his laptop.” I told my friend, “I’m currently in Dell Hell.”
It was our third call to technical support. Nathan gave up after his second call, because he couldn’t “understand” the person on the phone. I was ready to fight the Dell battle, and I fought it for two hours this afternoon.
After restoring Nathan’s laptop to the factory settings, I was assured that his wireless would now work. He would also never have a low signal problem again. Did it work?
He now had wireless, but it didn’t fix the low signal problem. Was I surprised? No. Will I be the first person to write Michael Dell and ask to return the laptop for a refund? Probably not.
Anyway, when the Dell laptop owner gets totally frustrated and stressed out, the Dell laptop owner goes out grocery shopping in order to make herself a kick-ass hamburger for dinner! At 6pm, I went to the supermarket. Funny, but the whole time I was out, I felt like I was missing something; when I thought about it harder, I was missing the feeling of the phone receiver pressed against my ear.
After I gathered a pound of coffee, two 9-volt batteries, a pound of 95% lean hamburger, and a frozen pizza, I was ready to pay for my purchases. (And, yes, what do those odd purchases say about me?! Believe it or not, there is a "story" to my seemingly shopping madness.) Alas, something caught my eye as I wandered down aisle 6. It was a bag of food; no, it wasn’t a bag of cat or dog food.
It was a bag of squirrel and critter food.
I know what a squirrel is, but what exactly is a “critter?” I didn’t need to buy squirrel and critter food, but I did. What possessed me?
Well, of course, it was because I went shopping when I was hungry! Hey, if the world ended tomorrow, I might eat that stuff. The peanuts still in the shell looked appetizing right then and there.
So, I thought I could experiment by putting the food out and seeing what kinds of critters went through my critter food drive-thru. I know that sounds crazy. But, people do crazy things after being on the phone for two hours, especially if it's a two hours that ends in even more frustration!
Anyway, I plunked my groceries and my “critter” food down on the conveyor belt. I always pick the wrong line, because the cashier was asking the man ahead of me if he needed to “phone home.” No, he wasn’t ET, but he was definitely from Mars.
Another cashier guided him over to the service booth, and he began to dial. I asked the cashier in front of me, “What’s going on?” because, at that point, any amusement unrelated to computers would be good amusement for me. She said, “His wife wrote detergent on her list, and now he’s not sure what she meant.”
Probably bored and intrigued by the male-in-distress’s dilemma, she asked me, “What would you buy if the list said detergent on it?” I said, “I’d buy laundry detergent.” She exclaimed, “That’s what I said, too!”
We both raised our hands into the air and laughed out loud. She then pointed to his plastic grocery bag, made a Matrix frown, and said, “He bought dishwasher detergent.” I said, “Oh, no. Detergent definitely means laundry,” and the male-in-distress, who still hadn’t reached his wife but had overheard us, asked me, “Not dishwashing detergent?”
I said quite matter-of-fact, “No. Laundry.” He frowned, and then he said into the phone's receiver, “Oh, hi, I’m here at the supermarket. What exactly did you mean when you wrote detergent?” There was a pause, and he then said, “Ohhhhh, for washing clothes.”
The cashier and I laughed again. The male-in-distress then smiled at us. He then asked his wife in a Star Wars tone, “Well, are you sure we don’t need dishwasher detergent, too?”
The casher then whispered to me, “Oh, now he’s trying to save face.” I laughed, and then I said, “We’re all wired differently.” And, while we're all human beings, women and men most definitely star in different movies. ♥
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