What About the Blog?

When I first told one of my friends that I got my new-old job back, she immediately asked, “But, what about the blog?” Yes, this was before, “Congratulations!” I think it was my neighbor, Ellen, who is the best husband in the world, but I can’t be sure. Anyway, I really loved the fact that she was more concerned about me being laid off from my blog job, the one that is definitely my passion, than about me having a “real” job.

So, as many of you have noticed (okay, just a handful of you), I haven’t written anything in a while. I thought when I got my job that I’d be able to do both. While I have done both, it’s taken a toll on me.

I love the toll it’s taken, because I want to be here; however, I can’t do this blog with the intensity that I did it with once before. I love to write like I do here. And, someday, I’m hope I am able to pay my mortgage by doing just that; but for today, it's just not going to happen.

Actually, I don’t know what happened, but I hit a wall. Was it pressure at work, pressure at home, or pressure I put on myself? I don’t know, but I realized that before 2011, I have to get my life (read "shit") together.

That being said, I have to make sure I’m healthy; there are medical records I need to pick up and doctor’s appointments I need to make. Of course, I need that dreaded colonoscopy, too; no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. Given my Dad died of colon cancer at 69, I should have had one when I was 45; however, I’m shy in that area and have put it off too long as I have with other things in my life, like general happiness.

Quite unsurprisingly, one of my friends has hounded me about the colonoscopy for the last few weeks. He has even promised me shoes if I go soon; I asked, “Ah, so Manolo Blahniks?!” He asked, “Can you get those at Payless?” And, no, I will not let him buy me shoes, though it might be nice to have him drive me there if I need him to.

Lastly, I have a house and a relationship I need to let go of. For the last two years, I’ve been hiding under a rock, well, I’ve somewhat been pinned by a rock that has “unemployment” spray painted on it. I need to address that, too; however, I’ve been afraid, and I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I so want to be happy.

So, I am still going to write here, but the frequency might not be the same as it used to be for a few months; I will write when inspired. Lastly, I wanted to thank Tomas, Georgie, Brenda, Steve, Nancy, Suze, and Cathy for being my most devoted readers; if I missed someone, it’s not because I don’t adore you, it’s only because my CSI-IP-address stalking needs to be improved. I love you all. ♥