Only Thirty Days

Until Halloween! And, this morning that thought terrified me. No, I’m not terrified of Halloween; oddly, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I was terrified because I didn’t know what I was going to be; it was quite a dilemma somewhat like when I enter the house and have to decide which cat I’ll cuddle and kiss first.

Not surprisingly, Iz loves Halloween, too. That’s my ghoul. It was as if her DNA got the genetic instruction, “Go forth and be spooky.”

In fact, she loves Halloween so much that she was ready to start celebrating two weeks ago. We had to drag out all the Halloween decorations; her favorite is a ghoulish door knocker that plays eerie organ music. Yes, it’s cute, but after you hear it every day ten times a day, it begins to wear on you.

We stocked up on candy corn the minute it hit the supermarket shelves. We had to buy pumpkins, though only one was permitted, because I thought they might rot before Halloween. Lastly and most importantly, we had to decide what we were going to be for Halloween.

Last year, Iz was a green witch. In fact, she knew right away when I asked her what she wanted to be. This year, when asked, she said, “Hmmm. I don’t know. Maybe a Goth cheerleader.” Gone are the days of one-word costumes like ghost, hobo, witch (we only had black ones in my day), and princess.

Anyway, while I was envisioning exactly what a Goth cheerleader would look like, Iz asked, “Mom, when can we go to Target?” Normally, I like Iz to ponder such an important decision for a few weeks, only because she usually changes her mind a million times. I know this because her DNA also has the same genetic instruction as mine; this one says, “Go forth and be indecisive.”

Last weekend, I was asked again when we could go to Target. I wasn’t asked just once; I was asked about fifteen times on Saturday. You might say it was a definite costume haunting that I was experiencing in the house.

Like the perfect parent I am, I said, “No. I’d like you to think about your decision a little longer. It’s best not to be impulsive when contemplating any important decision.” Yes; you’re right. I didn’t say that nor have I ever uttered anything like that to either of my children. Okay, I probably tried it a few times with each of them, but my words were met directly with their little hands.



I said to myself, “Jeez! She’s not going to let me watch Bridezillas in peace until she gets her costume.” Like the imperfect parent I am, I said, “Let’s go to Target.” Then I continued to myself, “So, I can watch the rest of Bridezillas in peace when I get home.”

As we drove to Target, I remembered that I had no idea what I wanted to be this year. I was Madonna last year. Though when out trick-or-treating with Iz, I was reminded how old I had become, even if I was out trick-or-treating with a six-year-old.

Three young girls stopped me and said, “That’s a great costume!” I thanked them, and then I made the mistake of asking, “Do you know who I am?” One said, “You’re Lady Gaga!”

This just proved what I’ve always said. “Fashion repeats itself.” I hope you all have your stirrup pants and parachute pants tucked away in your attic; although, these are two fashion trends that I hope remain in the attic, but you never know!

When we got out of the car at Target, Iz was like Monty on his leash when he sees another dog. He gets all excited and wants to drag me with him over to greet or rip the other dog’s head off, depending on whether he’s being the small dog in the small dog’s fur coat or the small dog in the large dog’s fur coat. Iz was holding my hand, but it was as if she couldn’t pull my hand hard enough to lead me through the parking lot and to the costume aisle.

Once we were inside, Iz pulled my hand even harder when I stopped at the $1 aisle. She rolled her eyes, tugged my hand, and said, “Come ooooooooonnnnnnnn, Mom.” I know she’s testy when the word “on” is pronounced with lots of extra o’s and n’s.

I love the $1 aisle at Target. Of course, having worked once for a company that created software for the consumer packaged goods industry, I can tell you that the $1 aisle is deceiving. You travel through it thinking happy consumer thoughts like, “Oh, wow, this pumpkin ice cube tray is only $1!”, but when you leave the aisle, you’ve spent $20, mostly on stuff that’s appealing because it’s cheap you will never use!

After I picked up $5 worth of cute but potentially very infrequently used items, I told Iz that I needed to stop for a few items on the way to the costume aisle. Of course, like Monty, she barked at me saying, “Mooooooooooom! Again with the extra letters!

I decided it was time to let her off the leash. I said, “Okay. We’ll go look at costumes now.” She bolted, and, like with Monty, I didn’t even bother to chase her.

I found her eyeing the Halloween decorations first. She asked, “Mom, can I get one thing?” I said, “No. We’re just here for the costume.” Yeah, again, I didn’t say that. I said, “Oooookkkkaaaay.” Three minutes later, we had a screeching bat in our carriage that I knew would meet with a miserable death (perhaps a battery malfunction) before Halloween was over!

Once perusing the costumes, Iz, like Monty, was wagging her tail. She pondered Grecian Fairy Child, Teen Wizard Wanda, Feelin’ Groovy Child but kept coming back to Punk Pixie. She told me that she had decided that she would be a Punk Pixie. What’s a punk pixie? I have no idea, but I do know Iz will be an adorable one.

Today, I told a friend about Iz’s costume and how I wasn’t really sure what a punk pixie was. He said it sounded like the year his son went trick-or-treating as a “dug up ghoul.” As he said, it seems like just being a regular ghoul or pixie isn’t enough anymore; ah, well, as you know, I’m all for maximum creativity, especially where it concerns dressing up.

I was Madonna last year; however, as you all probably know, Madonna had phases. I was Madonna from her “Desperately Seeking Susan” phase. I think I was pretty good Madonna, too, especially since a male friend said that I should be Madonna again; thus, this proves that men like Madonna or they like me as Madonna. Hmmm.

Unlike last year, I was not having the same costume vibes this year. Well, last year, with no job, I had a lot of time to think of such things. Fortunately and unfortunately, my head is now filled with probes, analyzers, and agents, oh, my!

Anyway, anyone who knows me knows I loved the 80s. It was a good decade for me, and yes, I even wore stirrup pants, but I don’t have them in my attic! Today, I told Tom that I was totally at a loss for a costume; being a fan of the 80s, too, and having even installed a 80s music trivia app (I am the champion by the way!) on his Droid, he said, “Hey, how about Cyndi Lauper?!”

I sat in my desk chair saying, “Hmmm, Cyndi Lauper.” While a tad less outrageous (yes, really, well, I think so) than Madonna, like Cyndi, I just wanna have fun; this was it! Besides, I’ve always wanted to have green hair and wear pink and yellow eye shadow; and life’s too short not to always just wanna have fun. ♥