About 20 years ago, “Young Americans” became my birthday anthem. I know, seriously, who has a birthday anthem? Well, knowing me, I’m sure you’re not surprised that I have one!
Usually, “Young Americans” gets played several times (read “over and over again”) on May 18th. One year, I even replaced my answering machine message with the song; I think that was for my 40th. Anyway, while listening to the song, I dance around the house singing loudly; pity the cat that saunters into the room I’m in when the song is playing (read "instant feline dance partner"), and, no, there will never be a video of that!
When I arrived in the kitchen this morning, I uttered my usual question to the family room. “Pukamunga?” “Hi, Mommy. Happy Birthday! You have to see this!”
Not having had any coffee yet, the rest of her words and her excitement were lost on me. As she talked, I only heard the sound that is emitted whenever there is a test of the Emergency Broadcasting system on TV. I said, “Wait, Iz. Let me get some coffee.”
Just then, my phone buzzed; it was a text message from Nathan that said, “Happy Smurfday.” I thanked him and, in under a minute, I had another text message from him asking if he could again use my PayPal account for nefarious purposes (read "purpose magic cards online"). Note to Self: Tell Nathan that it’s not good form to wish a girl “Happy Birthday” and then ask to borrow money from her!
After adding a teaspoon of sugar and a dribble of half and half to my coffee, I took a sip and suddenly I began to hear what Iz was saying. “Mommy, you must see what’s outside. Seriously! Close your eyes.” Still not completely aware of my surroundings, she took my hand and began to lead me down the hallway toward the front door.
I thought for a moment, “Oh, yes! Someone has finally delivered that vintage Alfa Romeo spider convertible to my front door!” Iz commanded, “Mommy, close your eyes.” I closed one, squinted the other, and then Iz banged into the bathroom door saying “Ow” as she continued to walk backwards.
She said, “Mommy, close your eyes, seriously!” Iz knows I mean business when I said, “Period.” I know Iz means business when she said, “Seriously.” We don’t speak the same language, but it’s a good thing we both can read each other’s subtitles.
Given that we had celebrated my birthday last night, I couldn’t really think of what might be outside. I was pretty sure it wasn’t a car. Knowing Iz, I was thinking that our neighbor’s dog was rolling around in the front yard; that's excitement for the two of us when it isn't watching real live Barbie dolls going to the prom!
Iz opened the front door, and she led me onto the porch. I lacked only about 50% of my vision. After she banged into the door, I thought it would be a shame to miss my trip to New York if I should happen to trip on her sneakers, back pack, and rollerblades, all obstacles in front of the door, and broke my ankle!
Then she said, “Look, Mommy!” I laughed out loud. On my front lawn were 10 pink plastic flamingos. There was a huge sign that said, “You have been flocked!” and one of the flamingos sported a "Happy Birthday" sign.
Upon further investigation, it appeared that the flock was a fundraiser for a town “Relay for Life” team. To remove the flamingos, I had to make a donation to the American Cancer Society. I was kind of hoping that they were there to stay.
It was the funniest thing I had seen in a while. Of course, Iz had already picked out her favorite flamingo and went over to pat it on its beak. She asked, “Mom, do we get to keep them?”
I told her that they were just on loan. I then went into CSI-Law & Order mode and picked two suspects during my mental line-up. I grabbed my phone and emailed and texted both “persons of interest.”
I wrote to the first person of interest asking, “Did you flock me?” Of course, after I sent the email, I thought, “What a crazy email to send someone." Within a few minutes, I received a response that said, “Did I what you?!?! Is that a new spelling?!?!?”
While I was laughing at my friend’s response, I received a text message from the other suspect, my neighbor, Ellen. She asked me if I was upset about it. I responded and said that I was anything but upset!
In retrospect, a gift of jewelry, a car, or even a job wouldn’t have given me that much joy. The “it” gift this year was definitely a flock of pink flamingos on my front lawn. And, it’s entirely better than the alternative, a flock of State Troopers on my lawn with loaded weapons; um, did I ever tell you about the time I flashed an ATM camera? (In my defense, it was a sake-induced state of inhibition.)
Upon leaving the house, I tucked a check into an envelope that one of the birds was wearing. I was still laughing. It was sad to think that by the time I returned my pink flock would have flown the coop!
Before I went to the train station, I had lunch with Lovely Melissa. We split a “tuniefish” sandwich at this really great bistro near her house. Here we are. and note that even though we look “polluted,” we’re not; we’re just high on caffeine, oh, and on life!
Melissa had mentioned my birthday in conversation while we were ordering lunch. A few minutes later, our server handed me our iced coffees. It wasn’t until I got to the table that I realized my cup had a personalized message!
It’s funny, but as I’ve gotten older, plastic pink birds in my yard and plastic cups with birthday wishes written on them seem to be the only thing I need. Maybe I am getting older and wiser? Or, maybe I’m just getting eccentric!
If there is one thing I do know, it’s that the best things in my life aren’t things; they're people, especially my friends and family. I received many wonderful birthday wishes today from near and from far. I was told “Don’t ever stop being YOU!!!!”
I don't think I would be me without all of you. Today, I don't celebrate myself. I celebrate having each and every one of you in my life on this birthday, and I hope that most of you will be with me until my 90th birthday when, if all goes according to my plan, I die peacefully in my sleep with a cat sleeping on my pillow. ♥
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