The Side of the Road

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In order to keep myself busy and afloat in this Sea of Uncertainty I had been traveling through lately, I developed a daily plan. In addition to busy tasks, my plan also contained a physical task in the form cycling or running. Due to monotony and the need to be outside, even if the weather was cool and a tad bit wet, I decided to try power walking again.

I was a runner in high school. Well, I began to run when I joined the track team my freshman year of high school. While my events (discus and shot put) were not “running events,” I ran every day because, quite frankly, everyone else did. The running also came in handy when I was asked by my track coach, Bob Haworth, a wonderful man, to do an event like the high jump, the hurdles, the mile, or a relay when we were a person short or I was guaranteed a third place just by completing the event.

I ran the mile one Winter track season. Since it was Winter and it was New England, the track meets were held at an indoor track nearby. The unfortunate thing was that the indoor track was a lot smaller than the outdoor four-laps-equals-a-mile track; thus, I think it took about 16 laps to make a mile inside. Back then running a mile seemed like a lot to me, and it seemed even longer when I had to loop around that small track 16 times!

I gave running up for the most part when I finally figured out how much fun it was riding a bike. After Nathan came along, I gave up riding a bike, because Nathan seemed to take a lot more of my time. When I realized I needed to lose the 60 pounds I gained during pregnancy, I got interested in power walking.

I walked 5 miles every day at lunch with a co-worker, Cheryle. She and I were even in a racewalking competitions. I aspired to compete more, but I could never quite get over how goofy I thought the racewalking stride looked; give me the runway walk any day!

Lately, I’ve been trying to mix things up athletically and in general to keep myself overly occupied because I’m so generally unoccupied. Anyway, I think the few cycling trips I had outside this year spoiled me; thus, when the weather was no longer friendly toward cycling, I couldn’t drag myself to the gym no matter how hard I tried.

I wanted to be outside, but I knew I didn’t want to be biking down Route 111 when the temperature was only 40 degrees either. It occurred to me then that I still knew how to walk, and it was something I could very well do outside. I put on my leggings, my Littleton Hockey sweatshirt, my sneakers and grabbed my iPod, and I was off walking like Naomi Campbell and so not like Volodymyr Holubnychy.

The unique thing about power walking is that you notice more than you do when you are cycling, running, or racewalking. That is, you notice more of what is around you. When biking, things flash by. When running, things have a way of blurring into the background while you avoid cars, potholes, and dogs that bark and look like they might break free at any moment and chew your butt off. When racewalking, you’re too busy trying to keep one foot in contact with the ground at all times to even care about the sale going on at your favorite boutique that you just passed by.

The great thing about powerwalking (hereafter known as walking) is that it makes you A.B.N. Always Be Noticing. This is not to be confused with TMI (Too Much Information), TMS (Too Many Shoes), SASMO (Should Avoid Sephora More Often) or I ♥ MTM (I Love My Travel Mug).

As I walked along, I couldn’t help but notice all the discarded trash on the side of the road. Of course, the most popular discarded item is the beer can followed closely by the nip bottle and then followed by the fast foot cups, wrappers, and bags. I don’t know about you, but all my discarded wine bottles go into my recycle bin. Sad to say, it would appear that for many, drinking and driving is still a popular pastime.

I will never understand the concept of throwing trash out the window, even though as I walked along, the things that people threw out their car windows intrigued me. It appeared from most of the debris that the littering crowd is between the ages of 17 and 23. Okay, I saw a box of Dentu-Crème, so there is an error of margin, unless this box was a “fly-away;” this is a box that escapes from a green hefty trash bag in the back of a pickup on a dump run.

I found a cell phone. I even picked it up to see if it would work. It didn’t; obviously, it had been through a few snow and rain storms.

It had me wondering why anyone would throw a cell phone out the window. Why not save it as a backup or recycle it? It reminded me of another cast off item I never understood. Why is it you always see shoes on the side of the highway? It's as if a certain segment of the American population buys shoes at the mall and then says, "Jeez. I don't need these anymore. So, I'm gonna pitch 'em out the window!"

I found a cardboard box. It had a legible label on it. I won’t disclose the person’s name and address here, but I thought about writing this person a note. (It would be an intriguing human experiment and less so a littering issue.) My note would say, “You left some trash on the side of the road. You might want to fetch it and dispose of it properly.” I'd wonder if they'd go and fetch it!

I then saw a discarded CD. While I was walking, I happened to be talking to my friend, Melissa. I asked her, “Did you ever wonder about the trash you see on the side of the road? I see a CD now. I feel like picking it up, bringing it home, and listening to it.”

She then told me how she wondered if I took the CD home, I might end up being whisked away by Matt Damon on a Harley in the middle of the night while being chased by an unruly bunch of zombie 10th graders. What did I have to lose? It was much more exciting than my life now!

I picked up the CD, wipe it off, and I popped it into my jacket pocket. As I continued to walk, I saw another CD. It was wedged deep into the dirt; I wandered off the sidewalk, bent over, reached down, and flipped it over.

It was Kidz Bop CD. I thought for a millisecond. I flipped it back over; it belonged on the side of the road. Good parents don’t let their kids listen to Kidz Bop; good parents play Billie Holliday, Peter, Paul, and Mary, the Beatles, and even Metallic for their kids!

As I walked back, I realized how much I had missed by not walking. Apparently, littering, not baseball, was America’s current pastime. Trash had become a new mystery to me like people watching had always invented mystery for me; I see a happily married couple in their 80s, and I wonder, are they still having sex?! Now, I was wondering “What is on that CD I picked up? The DaVinci Code? The meaning of life? The winning numbers for Megabucks this Friday night? Or, was it the real Mrs. Fields’ cookie recipe?”

Too bad for you that I have to digress now. You are so dying to know what’s on that CD, aren’t you? If it helps you any, Matt Damon has not stopped by yet!

As Iz and I stood at the bus stop this morning, we saw an unfamiliar black dog trotting up the side of the road. Iz said, “Who is that?” I replied, “I don’t know.”

The dog came up to us and was quite friendly. Before it could run off, I grabbed its collar and saw a dog tag that said, “Leominster 2745.” Leominister was a few towns away. Then, the bus came up the road, and the dog ran off.

Iz said, “Is that dog lost?” I told her I wasn’t sure, but I assured her I would find out. As Iz got on the bus, I called to the dog who was a few yards down the street, and the dog ran back to me.

I grabbed the dog by the collar and brought it home. I opened the front door, but not before Monty realized that a foe/friend was lurking outside, and he decided to clam up. No, Monty barked furiously, of course.

I reached inside to grab Monty’s leash while the unknown canine was trying to make his way inside. Monty started to charge the front door. But, I grabbed the leash just before there was a huge canine collision in which I’m sure I would have lost my arm or a few digits off of my left hand.

I attached the leash to the unknown canine. He seemed to be foaming a bit at the mouth, and I thought, “Oh, sh*t. I’ve found a rabid dog.” Though, he really wanted inside, so I thought (bright side) that he may have gotten lost and been extremely dehydrated and hungry.

Due to my Law & Order and CSI training, I thought it was time to canvass the neighborhood. I walked down the street thinking, “Crap. It’s cold. It’s rainy, and I was feeling a tad under the weather. I should just let the dog loose and let him fend for himself.” But, I couldn’t.

I went to the house of a neighbor who lived near where I first saw the dog. I knocked on the door, and she answered. She saw me and then the dog, and she smiled. I thought this was good and visions of a nap at home in 30 minutes sounded, oh, so good in my head!

She opened the door, and I asked, “Do you know this dog?” She said, “Oh, that’s Mrs. Egan’s dog, Luna.” She said, “Sometimes they let him run. Go to their backdoor, open it, and put him inside.”

I walked over to the house. I rang the front door, because I was shy about just opening their backdoor and shoving the dog onto their porch. No one answered the front door, so I ventured around the back.

As I walked up to the backdoor, the backdoor opened. Out walked an older woman with her hair half curled. I asked, “Is this your dog?” She said, “Yes, it is. Thank you. He ran off, and we couldn’t catch him.”

I let him off the leash, and she took Luna inside. It was still pouring, and I walked off in the rain thinking that you should always be noticing every small thing by the side of the road and wondering why it is there.

You should wonder about a child who is left alone at the bus stop. You should wonder about a dog who looks unfamiliar. And most importantly, you should wonder about a little old lady in the cracker aisle at the grocery store who is eyeing a package of Ritz crackers, which she obviously can’t reach, and you should offer to get them for her.

I don’t feel like I’m on the road today; however, I do feel like I’m on the side making sure that things are discovered, noted, and processed. And today, I put the Luna back where he belonged, which was all but appropriate on Moon’s Day. ♥

What was on the CD? Ah. Well, Matt Damon still isn’t here, but I’m sure that somewhere Nate is laughing. Most of the CD wouldn’t play, but this is one song that would. It’s called Icky Thump. WARNING: Ears may bleed whilst listening!