Mr. Mom

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If it wasn’t obvious to me yet, I knew for sure that I was a stay-at-home Mom yesterday. Well, I knew I had two kids, which made me a Mom. I also knew that in lieu of a technical writing job being a stay-at-home Mom had been my primary job for the last year.

All along, I had felt that being a stay-at-home Mom was a temporary job. At first, I felt a bit like Michael Keaton in the movie, “Mr. Mom.” I was ejected from my job, and I found myself cast in a role, stay-at-home Mom, that I hadn’t auditioned for, nor had I ever played the part on TV or in my life.

As the months passed, it seemed that this temporary job turned into a long-term contract. And, lately, with no job opportunities in sight, I wondered if this weren’t my permanent job for another year or two. It was beginning to feel so permanent that I felt I would soon need to get business cards!

Over a year ago, I was a Mom, but I was a full-time-job Mom. I forgot about homework assignments, I was too tired to go to fund raising events at Chuck E. Cheese on weeknights, and library books remained missing for longer than they should have, because I couldn’t find the time nor did I have the energy most week nights to search for them.

These days homework is usually always done at 3:15, which is right after Iz gets off the bus. I took Iz to the last Chuck E. Cheese fund raiser on a week night, which was quite the feat considering I couldn’t stand Chuck E. Cheese. And, the missing library book is located in less than 24 hours due to my Law & Order questioning skills; “Iz, where did you last see The Bunny Hop and what did its cover look like?”

In addition, my calendar contained every appointment the kids had when I used to throw an appointment card in my wallet or hand bag and promptly forget all about it. I now knew what child was going where and when one month into the future, well, for the most part. On weekends, Nate’s plans usually changed anywhere from four to six times in any 24-hour period.

And, I actually had time to “play” with my kids. I didn’t say, “I’m too tired.” Instead, I said, “What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?” I first realized that I had gone from Mr. Mom to stay-at-home Mom when I got together with my girlfriend’s from high school and one said, “That art you do with Iz is great. I didn’t do stuff like that with my kids.”

I thanked her, and then I found myself rather surprised by what she said. Up until recently, I thought I was the only Mom who didn’t have a lot of opportunity to do fun activities with my kids. And in some ways, I felt like my time without a job was now time I could give my kids that I hadn't the last several years, which was me being there for them all the time.

I could create art with Iz. I could take Nathan driving or be with him on his first highway trip as a licensed driver. I could get them places and take them to appointments without thinking, “Oh, how can I do this and my job, too?”

Yesterday, I got Iz off the bus and she asked if Noah could stay and play. They both came in, had a snack, and then they decided to play outside. I said, “Let me grab my laptop, and I’ll sit out on the porch and watch you.”

It seemed that arriving home exhausted at 6pm, after picking up both Iz and Nathan, was a lifetime ago. In those days, I scrambled to make dinner or had to run out to the supermarket, tended to the animals, and then got frustrated trying to get dinner dishes done, homework completed, school lunches made, and get one 6-year-old washed up and in bed by 8:30pm. When I look back, I don’t know how I ever did it all without self-destructing.

By the time Iz and Noah ventured out to play, the wind had picked up. I bundled up, and made myself comfortable in a patio chair, even though I could have watched them from my “office” window. As they ran up and down the street, wrote radical graffiti on the sidewalk like “Iz and Noah rock,” and ran around after each other, I realized that this was my favorite time of day.

It wasn’t when I was home alone in front of the TV, my laptop, or the washing machine. This was it. And, I thought as I watched them yesterday, “This is great just being here.”

Over the shouts, the screams, and the laughter, I thought about the many things that I should get done in the house (dishes, laundry, and so on), but I knew that I always had tomorrow. I loved having a tomorrow, especially one that continually didn’t have a lot of demands on it. At 5pm, I said something to Iz and Noah that never would have been uttered in my Frazzled Days. “Want to go to McDonald’s for dinner?” I don’t think I have to tell you what the answer was.

I packed them up in the car, and we headed to McDonald’s. And, we did something else I never would have suggested in my Frazzled Days. I said, “We won't go through the drive-thru. Let’s eat inside and check out the Play Place.” Again, I don’t think I have to tell you what the answer was.

In the Frazzled Days, I always took work home with me. Well, I didn’t actually bring work home with me most nights, but the things going on at work were always going on inside my head. And, it seemed that sometimes it was difficult to let go of work on the weeknights, remember the orthodontist appointment at 3pm the next day, and put two juice boxes in the school lunch instead of just one.

When we drove home from McDonald’s, I reminded Iz that she began her school enrichment program, Animal Arts and Crafts, on Tuesday. I said, “I’ll pick you up in the lobby at 4:55pm.” And, then I asked Noah, “Are you taking an enrichment program?”

In the 5 seconds it took Noah to answer, I replayed what I just said in my head. I had encouraged Iz to sign up for an after-school program, knowing that there would be no job to interfere with me fetching her. I also remembered well in advance at exactly what time and where I had to pick her up. And, I was really interested in knowing how Noah was going to be spending his afternoon.

I realized right then that I was a carefree and contented stay-at-home Mom. To be honest, I used to be annoyed by people like me. Okay, annoyed is the wrong word; “envious” is the right word.

Noah answered, “I’m taking poetry.”
I asked, again surprising myself, “Who’s teaching that?” (It’s about time I learned all of the teachers’ names.)
He said, “Miss Tobin.”
I asked, “Do you need a ride home tomorrow?”
He said, “No. Connor is picking me up.”

This afternoon, I retrieved Iz, and I’m happy to say I didn’t run in at the last minute like I used to do in the Frazzled Days. I was standing there waiting for my child for once instead of the other way around. When we left, I saw Noah standing outside with Miss Tobin. I asked him if he needed a ride.

Miss Tobin was trying to get a hold of his Mom. I told her that I could take Noah home, though she said she needed parental permission. I suggested she try his Dad. She reached him, and Noah was able to come home with us.

When I talked to Noah’s Mom later, she thanked me for “rescuing him.” I told her she was welcome and said, “Oh, I was just in the right place at the right time.” I then suggested that I pick him up the next three Tuesdays since I had to go there anyway; she said that would be great.

Just then, I heard car keys jingle somewhere, not unlike how a bell rings when an angel gets its wings. I was now a power stay-at-home Mom. I was caring for other children in addition to my own!

Over a year ago, I wanted my life to change. Unfortunately, unemployment wasn’t the change I was hoping for. But, employment this last year as a stay-at-home Mom (and Town-Renowned Cycling Goddess on the Rail Trail) hasn’t been too shabby.

I would love to keep this job, but I know I can’t. I still hope for a lucrative part-time writing job. Yes, some magazine or company will hire me to write a column, a blog, or sell cosmetics. (We just know that I won’t be doing any writing for Macy’s!)

And to show that God School is never lost on anyone…

Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for good, for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. So every day I wake up and say “I will trust You today.” No matter what may come my way. Things do happen for a reason.

I still believe I’m here for a reason. Some nights I go to sleep fretting. Some mornings I am in a funk. And, some days, I cry easily.

Though lately, I feel I’m fortunate to be employed as a stay-at-home Mom. Currently, cookie making, hockey games, art forgery, and trips to Magic Card stores, big lipsticks, and Sephora are what comes my way. And, I will take whatever comes my way as long as I am fortunate enough to wake up each day. ♥