The Bill is Gone

Blog soundtrack:



Many days, especially the days when it wasn’t raining, windy, or cold, this last year, I was out biking many miles along the rail trail and on the roads. Last Summer, I made the acquaintance of Bill, the founding member of Fabulous and Fifty-Plus Cycling Dudes, Ltd. With them, I spent more time on my Lemond Buenos Aires than I did driving in my Saab 9-3!

Anyway, Bill became a “snowbird” over a week ago. He told me about it in advance saying he and his wife, Gail, were off to enjoy some time at his niece’s condo. I knew he would be gone for a little over two weeks, but little did I know that that two weeks would feel like two months.

The Thursday before Bill left, we rode together. He mentioned that a Friday ride wasn’t possible. The next morning (Friday!), Bill texted me saying “I know I said I wouldn’t be riding today, but I could be up for a truncated version of our normal ride if you’re interested. Whaddaya say?” I said, “Yes.”

We rode up the rail trail, bumped into Jim, and made Jim part of our posse. After checking out the bridge, we rode through downtown Pepperell, I sniffed, and I said, “Oh, that smells good, like greasy fried seafood!” Bill said, “I know. Let’s go to Johnson’s in Groton and split some fried clams!” In that moment, it sounded like a good idea, but then I remembered that unlike Bill and Jim, I wasn’t retired.

I had laundry to wash, I had a house to keep clean, and I had a potential job to look for. Bill asked if I was interested. I was, but I had to say, “No. I really need to get home.”

As usual when we ride, some of us end up together and then some of us end up ahead of the rest of us. Bill rode off at a fast pace, later saying that he needed to build up a sweat before the end of the ride, which I totally understood since it was his last “team” ride for a while. Jim and I stayed on the trail riding side-by-side.

I asked Jim if he had any interest in Florida. He said that he had been there two or three times, but he had no desire to go back. I said that I’d rather go to California if given a choice.

I then asked if he had any sort of Winter vacation planned. He told me that his wife was off shortly on “her” vacation, which was a bus tour of Yosemite. And, I gathered that was a vacation for the two of them given that they would be apart!

After a few miles, we caught up with Bill, and I said, “If I was really old and retired, I think I should be going to Florida, too.” But, I wasn’t. Somehow, I was so bonded to these wonderful men, yet at the same time, I had to be reminded that I still lived a different life; I was NOT going to Florida.

I was not retired. I needed to work. But, I so wished that I would always have these men in my life, even though I knew I wouldn’t for long.

After Bill left for Florida, I rode the rail trail two times on my own. It wasn’t the same. While I was able to listen to my iPod, I missed Bill’s stories about his life, the Pan Mass Challenge, or his general musings of life in general of which I was a devoted subscriber.

Upon arriving home after a lonely ride one day, I knew that if it hadn’t been for Bill, I wouldn’t have ridden my bike as much as I did last Summer. Bill was my bike muse. And I realized this last week and a half, that it’s good to have a friend who kicks your butt physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

After running at the gym today, I didn’t go directly home like I usually do. With all the rain, I instantly became Helen Hunt and went into Flood Hunter mode. I drove to a few places where I knew the roads would be challenged, looked upon them, and then I thought, “I’m missing Bill.”

Though sometimes I have to remember that I’m not retired yet, I have Bill to remind me of all that comes with it. It’s not just a large amount of time. It’s time allotted to appreciating the little things like cycling, watching a beautiful and simple bridge be constructed, and seeing Nature, even if evil, make amazing things appear before your eyes.

While Bill is in Florida, the thrill of my day-to-day seems to be gone somewhat. But, he’s made me see so much from the parking lot at the rail trail to the bridge in Pepperell. And, when I am employed again, I will thank Bill every day for making me see life in a way I never saw it before. ♥