So, This is College?!

As some of you know, I have a seventeen-year old son, Nathan, who is a senior in high school. He has applied to several colleges and is now in “wait to hear from several colleges” mode. He heard from his first college last week; he was accepted to one college and received a $4K scholarship award to boot.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that $4K is nothing when college tuition is running on average from $40-$50K a year. He was accepted to a local state school; at a state school, $4K is like $10K. Yes, there’s definitely an exchange rate!

Nathan was pleased. While it wasn’t the school he wanted to go to, he had the comfort of knowing that no matter what happened, he had at least one school to go to. It had his major, which was Marine Biology. So, what was wrong with the school? Quite simply, it seemed that the only thing wrong with it was that it “looked like a prison.”

I went online and looked at the tuition costs. It was 20K a year for everything. Tuition would only be 16K a year. I was excited, because it was just like I had found John Fluevogs at Payless prices!

I said to Nathan, “Given what your Dad and I have saved, you could go there, get your degree, and when you graduate, you would be debt free with a brand new car!” Nathan frowned. He then grumbled, “It looks like a prison!”

I thought that the prison was never going to be a contender even after I waved my “debt free” and “new car” flags in front of Nathan’s nose. I knew then I had to dig deeper. I needed to provide proof that the school was cool.

I had two girlfriends. They had a nephew and a son attending the school. I said to Nathan, “Both of them love it.” Nathan still grumbled, “It looks like a prison.”

Actually, when I told the friend, who had a son attending the school, about Nathan’s prison comments, she said, “Oh, well, it does. But, that’s just the freshman dorm!” I told Nathan that, but he still seemed unimpressed.

I decided to get gutsy. I asked, “Let’s go on a tour.” Amazingly, he said, “Shure,” before he left for a three-day vacation at Disney World.

Of course, Nathan is probably the only person who has ever dreaded a trip to Disney World. He was going with his Dad, stepmother, and his 10 and 8-year-old brothers. While Nathan had always been good with his much younger siblings, I think the age spread was finally one that would cause a black-out period for a few years.

In addition, to Disney World, Nathan informed me that he would also being going to Eckerd, a college he applied to. His stepmother, who was a professor at a college in Boston, could participate in a college exchange program on Nathan’s behalf. Her college took an Eckerd professor’s child, and Eckerd would take Nate, tuition free. It was not a given that he’d get tuition every year, but he could get a year or two, which was something, given that Eckerd was $40K a year.

When I accepted that the state college just might be Nathan’s prison, I visited Eckerd’s website again. Once there, I knew that the state college was definitely not a prison; however, it could not compare to palm trees and the beach! This was the first picture I saw, and knowing Nathan was into longboarding, I heard “Want some candy, little boy?”



I clicked on every link on the website. I looked at all the photos. And, then I thought, “So, this is college?!”

Flashback to 1980 (ouch, that hurt!): I applied to colleges that were in New England or New York. Little did I know then that there was life, warm life, outside of my comfort zone. It was all so different then.

Some of me, based on what Nathan was showing me, made me wish I could do it all over. I was dropped off at college with my typewriter, a copy of Webster’s Dictionary, and a stereo that played LPs and had an 8-track player. I might be dropping Nathan off with his longboard, SPF50, and swim trunks; it was all so different now.

Earlier this afternoon, I received a stream of text messages from Nathan:

N: Like Eckerd’s private beach?



Mom: No!!!! You don’t like the beach anyway!
N: This campus is f*cking beautiful.
Mom: What are the chances you’ll get in?
N: Good.

N: Cats are allowed and dogs. The local cat life.



Mom: Don't bring it home! Remember: Pets at school don’t get transfer credits to home.
N: I’m bringing my cat home with me. Bite me!
Mom: Bring a girlfriend home not a cat!
N: Can I bring both home?
Mom: Um, we’ll see how your grades are.

N: The rare domestic Floridian bobcat.



Mom: Enough about the felines. What about the academics?

Totally stealth and probably while putting away his longboard and taking off his flip-flops, Nathan asked, “Did you hear from work?” I was waiting to see if I would become a permanent employee at my new-old work. I texted him back saying that I hadn’t.

Actually, I knew his inquiry was genuine, and I wrote back, “Thanks for asking. ♥” Besides, a discussion of academics wasn't probably best suited to a text message, and he knew I had been worried about my job for a while. Given he had spent all his life in the frozen tundra of New England, I knew he was probably rejoicing in "So, this is what a Winterless Wonderland is like!"

I went back to Eckerd’s website. It was a beautiful place, and it had everything he wanted academically. I knew I would support Nathan wherever he wanted to go.

When I thought about it more, I wished, like me back in 1979, that he didn’t know that any states existed other than MA or NY. If he went that far away, I’d miss him terribly. But, if he went that far away, I knew he’d be happy and that would make me happy, too.

No matter where he goes, I’ll be there on moving-in day. I want him to go where he feels he’ll get the best education…and have a lot of fun. After all, isn’t that what life’s all about – learning as you go along and having fun doing it? ♥