And then….
Amrit asked me a lot of questions about the fishing trip. The last time I had gone on the trip was two years ago, so I was a bit rusty. I tried to answer her questions as best I could.
Sometimes, after all her questions, I felt obligated to give her a PowerPoint presentation. Then again, she was an engineer, so this level of detail was in the questioning part of her DNA strand. If I have anything to show for all the years I’ve spent professionally in high tech, it was that I know engineers!
Actually, when I think back on my life, some of the nicest guys I have known have been engineers. I married one once upon a time. And, he’s still my favorite husband even those he’s an ex-husband.
Anyway, one afternoon, Amrit popped into my office and asked me if there still might be room for more people on the boat. I said that my friend, Dave, mentioned that the boat was not near full capacity; I told her I would check. She mentioned that she might like to bring her brother, Jasjit.
I checked, and there was indeed room for one more fisherman. I told Amrit, and then we began to arrange a carpool. When it was only she and I, we were going to try to commute with others and meet at work to do so; after we became a party of three, we knew we had to make other arrangements.
She told me that if I wanted, I could go meet the others at work and drive with them to Salem. I told her that I wouldn’t think of going without her, and I would never. She lived 40 minutes away from me, but she told me that she and Jasjit would pick me up at 4 in the morning, and so that was our plan.
I had planned to go to bed at 8pm on Friday; however, as usual, stuff happened, and I went to bed at 10pm. Okay, I was kidding myself that night. I am not an early-to-bed person; I had to force myself to sleep at 10pm using meditation, supplied by Amrit, to shut down the amusement park, Jean World, that early.
I set my alarm for 3:30am, because I needed time to have coffee, spritz on some deodorant and perfume, fix my bed head, and wonder why, oh, why I was up so early on a Saturday morning. Unfortunately, I woke up at 3am, checked my phone for the time, and I couldn’t fall back asleep. Some people can fall back to sleep in minutes and get that extra 30 minutes of sleep; well, I can’t, and I hate you people who can!
At 3:55am, I went out on the porch and waited for Amrit and Jasjit. I saw headlights approaching, and when I didn’t see the car window open and throw a Lowell Sun into Mr. and Mrs. Mack’s mailbox, I knew it was them. I ran out, opened the door, and climbed into their car.
Amrit and Jasjit looked like they had 10 hours of sleep and were picking me up to go to the mall at 1pm, instead of 4am, while I clutched my coffee tightly in my hand wishing I had more coffee and more sleep. I asked, “When did you get up?” Amrit said, “1am.” I then thought, “You're a better morning person than I am, Gunga Amrit!"
I'm just not a morning person. Often, I’ve wished I could work out in the morning, but alas, as you get older you come to certain realizations about yourself. Just this year, I realized that I will never be 5’8” with size 8 feet, make the Olympic cycling team, or go to the Academy Awards with George Clooney.
We got on the highway, and I savored my last two sips of coffee. Amrit’s car had a GPS, so I thought “smoothing sailing” to fishing destination. When my coffee buzz finally wore off, I realized that Jasjit was navigating roads near our destination that didn’t look familiar to me.
I said, “This doesn’t seem right.” We drove until we arrived at the GPS destination, which was streetnameLANE instead of streetnameSTREET. I texted Dave to tell him that we had a minor detour and not to let the boat leave without us. In 15 minutes, we arrived at the right STREET.
By 6am, we were all on the boat. Of course, we pulled out, and then someone shouted, “Hey, where’s Howie? He went to get coffee!” Dave yelled to the Captain, “Aw, we’ve got to turn around!”
We headed back to the dock. When we were about 200 yards from the dock, Howie ran down the ramp with his tray of Dunkin Donuts coffees and was madly waving his arms. We stopped long enough to pull Howie aboard, and then we set sail again.
For all my bitching, it was absolutely beautiful being on the water at that time of morning. Amrit and I sat on a bench on the deck, and as the sun came up, I wallowed in its warmth. Amrit went inside, and I told her that I wanted to stay; I do believe in reincarnation, because I must have been part of the sea in another life.
Within 30 minutes of departure, there were several people walking around with beers. Dave walked by me in his “Beer is not for breakfast anymore” t-shirt. He asked, “Do you want a beer?”
I answered….
The answer, which will truly amaze you, will be disclosed tomorrow.
When you arrive home tomorrow, stand in a window, make the peace sign, do the hokey pokey, and then turn yourself around and away from the window.
You will hear a large thud on your roof; no, it won’t be Santa Claus. He’s no fool; he’s in Aruba right now.
Suddenly, it will sound like there are seven lawn mowers in your yard, not unlike how it sounds when my neighbor’s lawn service comes on Thursday morning at 7am, which used to bug the shit out of me when I was unemployed and had no need for an alarm clock.
Whatever you do, do not look outside; if you do, you will, um, err, ruin the surprise, of course!
After the last mower has sputtered, wait 13.45 seconds, and then open your front door; you will find my answer in this!
What’s that?
You say you don’t read crop circles?
Well, it totally sucks to be you then!
I suggest you go to Amazon straight away and order “Reading Crop Circles for Dummies.”
♥
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