Shall We Dance?

Do you remember your prom? I remember mine. I went to my Senior Prom with my friend, Doug.

When I was in high school, the prom seemed like a big deal. Unfortunately, I never had a boyfriend in high school, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. My last attempt at boyfriendom was with a boy named Eric.

Eric was a tall curly-headed brunette who played hockey and lacrosse. I didn’t even know him, but I saw him as sweet, tall-like-me, and somewhat resembling a teddy bear. I guess I knew he was out of my league being that he was a popular guy and I was an unpopular girl; somewhere between 16 and 17, I threw caution to the wind and subliminally wooed him.

This was pretty wild for me back then, because I was not the outgoing and talkative individual that I am today. Believe it or not, when it came to boys, I was stupefied. Okay, I still am stupefied, but back then I had no idea what I was doing; today, I still have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m older, so that must count for something -- like legally driving but still driving blind!

I had a plan of woo attack. Whenever Eric walked by me in the hallway, I was going to look him in straight in the eyes. I was no General Eisenhower in my plan of woo attack; I had no idea if my plan was working, but deep down, I liked to fantasize that I was winning the Battle of the Beers.

Just when I was about to give up, I was waiting for the late bus after winter track practice. Eric wandered into the hallway where we all used to hang out to stay warm and wait. He leaned up against a wall, saw me, and said “Hi.”

Immediately, I said, “Hi” back. No, I didn’t. Years later, I still wished I had eeked out a “Hi.”

I stood there in shock. I kept thinking, “Eric talked to me. Eric talked to me.” And, in a moment, the buses arrived, and it was too late to say anything.

A few weeks later, I was working at my part-time job at First National supermarket. I was a cashier. I was a dinosaur cashier, because it was before we scanned bar codes; I punched in the $1 key, the 90-cent key, and the 9-cent key for $1.99!

(By the way, why did it take us so long to scan those bar codes? I remember my Mom shopping, bringing home groceries, and me asking, “What are these lines on the back of this?” She said, “Someday, they will just wave a wand and the cash register will know the price of something from that.” I’m sure my jaw dropped and then I asked, “Really?” Of course, the sad thing is that this was 10 years before I became a cashier at the First National.)

One afternoon, I was working my cash register when I saw Eric and his Mom get into my line. I was excited yet horrified at the prospect. I rang their order, bagged their items, and then turned back to my register to see what had happened to my woo gun in this surprise heart attack.

All of a sudden, I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there was Eric’s mother. She said, “Hi!”

Once again, I froze. My woo gun went off in the pocket of my First National smock and stunned me. I said nothing and just glared at her; she smiled, turned around and walked out with Eric.

I stood there waiting for an emotional rescue; however, nothing came to me except five more customers in my line. I fretted thinking that I blew it and by now Eric’s Mom must be saying to Eric in their Ford station wagon, “Are you sure she’s not an exchange student from another country who doesn't quite understand the English language yet?” A few months later, I found out that Eric had begun to date one of my sister’s friends; my woo had become a big boo-hoo.

Anyway, when it came time for the Senior prom, I was Ericless. I wanted to go, because I’ll admit that I wanted to be a princess for a night. I asked my good friend, Doug, and he obliged me. In hindsight, I couldn’t have asked for more; I was with someone who loved me dearly, even if we were just friends.

A few months ago, Nathan was asked to the prom by a friend. She had a boyfriend in college; however, she didn’t want to bring him. When Nathan told me he was going with her, I wanted to say something like “Shouldn’t you wait and see if there’s someone special you might want to ask,” but fearing Facebook deletion and eyeballs rolling Heavenward, I decided to stun myself with my Mom gun.

Last Friday, I received a text message from Nathan. It said, “Can I ask for some maternal advice?” Instead of “Aw, he wants my advice about college,” I was like, “Oh, shit! The prom has come back to bite him!”

I took a deep breath. I sent him a text message back which said, “OMG! I knew this was going to happen. It’s about the prom, isn’t it?” No, I only said, “Sure.”

Within 3 minutes, I had a text message telling me that he regretted accepting the invitation from his friend. He really wanted to go with another girl. He said while he liked the girl who asked him, he knew he’d have a much better time with this other girl who was a close and dear friend.

I took a deep breath. I then immediately headed into the cube of my co-worker, Dave, who had two daughters in their early 20s. I thought he may have been through this before, so I told him the dilemma.

But, before I traveled the four feet to Dave’s cube, I knew I already had an answer to Nathan’s question. I just needed someone to bounce my idea off of. I told Dave that I thought Nate should speak to the first girl, explain the situation, and then go with the second girl.

The first girl had a boyfriend who could take her. Nathan had a lousy time at his prom last year. He wanted to enjoy his prom this year with someone he liked.

Dave agreed. Once I was validated like the parking ticket I felt I was, I went back to my office. I told Nathan to talk to the first girl and explain the situation.

Of course, after I told Nathan what I thought, I then doubted myself thinking he should honor his first commitment. Then creativity struck. Why couldn’t he take both girls?

I sat in my office and texted him my creative prom wooing idea. He texted me back saying, “No way!” And then he told me that his backing out didn't go over well with the first girl and that the girl, who he wanted to go with, didn’t want to go with him, because she didn’t want to create any “drama.”

I knew that girls now went to the prom without men. They went together, which I wish had been popular in “my day.” (Wow, “my day,” I am old!) I wondered why in this day that a man going to the prom with two women was frowned upon; in the 70s, Hugh Hefner was a legend for the very same!

After feeling like a failure in the “maternal” advice-giving department, I went to drown my sorrows at beer o’clock. My barbecue meatballs were a hit, yet I couldn’t help but feeling like a miss all over. After my first glass of porter and surround by six men, I frowned.

One male friend instantly knew why I frowned and asked, “What’s going on now?” I said, “It’s not going well.” Who said women like to gossip?

I then had six men asking me about what wasn’t going well; thus, I explained the whole prom story. Most of the men were amazed that Nate had potentially two women on his arm; however, most agreed with me. He needed to follow his heart not his obligation.

When I arrived home that night, I went to pick up Iz at Ellen's house. I was upset; therefore, I kept quiet. Nah, I told her everything.

She mentioned that she might speak to her son who was Nathan’s friend. It was thought that perhaps he could speak to the girl Nathan wanted to go with who he was friendly with. Meanwhile, I fretted that I had screwed up Nathan’s life forever.

On Sunday, I received a text message from Nathan; I read it and heaved a sigh of relief. He was going to the prom with the girl he wanted to. His friend, Ellen’s son, had acted as Switzerland and had admirably won both their hearts.

Nathan and Ellen’s son had been so close for years. In 7th grade, they had parted ways, and in the last year or so, they had become the best of friends again. Interestingly, they were both so different, but time had shown them that each gave the other one a strength that nature had not given them; as Ellen’s son said, “They would be friends for life,” just like Ellen and I. Our differences had bound us and would always make us stronger…together.

Within ten minutes, I received another text message from Nathan. I noticed that it had been forwarded on to him. I opened it, and it displayed a picture of his prom date's dress; I wanted to text back, “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.”

I told Nathan how happy I was for him. He told me he was happy but; I always knew I raised a good son, but I knew it again in that moment. Despite feeling good about going to the prom with someone he wanted to, he felt badly about the girl, his friend, who had first asked him.

This morning, I worked at home due to a miserable cold, which kept me on the couch most of the weekend. (Yes, I’ve been sick for pretty much the last three weeks. Uncle!) Nathan took the car at 1pm to go for breakfast. At 3pm, I heard the Kings of Leon’s Birthday blaring in the driveway from my car; Nathan was in the house or the driveway as it was.

I knew I had locked the front door, and I wasn’t sure if he had his house key. I ran downstairs, unlocked the door, and then peered out the window to see if he was near. I saw him looking at his cell phone and then raise his arms. I opened the door, and then before we even got to say anything to each other, he shoved his cell phone in my face.

It was text message from the girl who he originally asked to the prom. Basically, she said that her boyfriend was taking her, there were “no worries," and she understood why he backed out. I told him that she was a very good friend to have realized that, though Nathan said, “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure she still might want to slit my throat.”

I laughed, but I was optimistic. I had worried about Nathan when he developed this horrible head tick when his paternal grandfather was dying. Now I worried about his prom life.

My friend, Ellen, said, “All the worrying us mothers do!!!” I knew then, like I was renewing a library book, that this wouldn’t be the first time I worried, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. This was my life; this was motherhood, and despite its difficulties, I loved dancing with it. ♥