I think that most people expect their life to go a certain way. Actually, I think I’m one of those “most” people. My assumed plan involved college, sustained employment, marriage, cats, kids, a dog that barked too much, and Zappos, Hello Kitty, and Sephora dependencies.
When I got laid off in February 2009, my expectations were shattered. Though after the initial shock, I considered my self lucky for never having been laid off before. After a few months at home, I considered myself even more fortunate for the all the wonderful time I got to spend with my daughter, Iz.
Of course, there were the bright days, and then there were the dark days when my bottom created an almost permanent dent in the couch from too many back-to-back episodes of Law & Order. My job search proved to be even more depressing than the daily news. So, I stopped watching the daily news all together back then.
When I didn’t feel like Goldilocks (being "just not right") about the job search, I felt like Job. When I finally did get a job, it had an interesting twist. The company that laid me off wanted to hire me back again; of course, I jumped at the chance.
After being back at my new-old job for 6 months, I feel fortunate. I also feel like I worked the hardest I had in my professional career, doing a year’s worth of work in six months. Was it worth it? Hell ya.
Today, my company is downsizing. No, people weren't losing jobs; I think the company had totally "been there and done that." We are moving to a smaller building because of downsizing.
Initially, I was unsure if I would get to move with them, because my contract was up in mid-December. As the building began to fill with orange crates, I wondered if I would make the orange crate list. When I saw the new floor plan and didn’t see my name on a cube, I panicked. Was this the end?
I had worked so hard to meet difficult deadlines, spent time at work on the weekends, and I found it hard to believe that they didn’t want to keep me. At the same time, I had to remember that when I didn’t receive an e-mail about a party, because I was not a permanent employee, I could not to take it personally.
My company hired me to work for a fixed amount of time. I was given a very temporary promise ring. No one, especially George Clooney, had invited me to Tiffany’s yet to pick out an engagement ring.
Saddened and a bit irked, I finally got up enough nerve to ask my boss about my Fate. As it turned out, the company was making efforts to secure my future employment. I was told that they just weren't exactly how they were going to do this, and that my contract expired on December 31st; relieved, I mentally penciled myself in on the orange crate list.
I then said to my boss, “Err, um, well, I don’t have a cube in the new building. I don’t want to be red stapler guy.” He asked, “Who?” I then explained the plot of Office Space to him.
As it turns out, for some reason, my fellow co-worker and I had been accounted for in the move. Unfortunately, I got dropped off the list some time in October; I had always liked to think of myself as "unforgettable," but lesson learned! A day later, relief overcame myself and my co-worker, Dave, when we were both invited to an hour-long meeting about move practices and procedures.
I never thought it would take an hour to explain where the sticker on your trash can should go or that all “live” things should be taken home and not moved. An example was, “Do not pack your goldfish.” The move coordinator then explained in all seriousness, “In this cold weather, they could freeze in the packing crate.”
When I returned to my office after the meeting the first thing I did was grab an orange crate out of the hallway. I plunked it down on my floor, and it made a lovely thud. At that point, I didn’t even care about the whether they were going to extend my contract or make me a permanent job offer, because I was movin’ on up to the East Side.
Okay, I was really just moving down the road a quarter of a mile to the “old” IBM building. Nevertheless, it was exciting! It was the final word after a long two years filled with self-doubt, anxiety, and fear.
As my boss said to us both earlier in the week, “There is “love” out there for you guys!” The last two years had been so difficult that sometimes it seemed I really had to search for the Love buoys in the Sea of Self-Doubt. As a friend said to me today, which was a good professional and personal thought for me lately, “Just remember *you* count in this equation, too.”
Ironically, today, we had a release scheduled on move day. As movers walked through the halls and people packed up their offices, Dave and I were working hard to finish up our project before noon. When we discussed transferring our final PDF files to the engineer, I said to my co-worker, “But don’t we need to put the EULA on the USB?”
My co-worker looked at me like I had just spoken Pig Latin. He said, “The what?” I said, “I think we need the end user license on the USB?”
Dave said he’d go check with the engineer. Meanwhile, when the going gets anxious, the anxious go to the Vice President’s large candy bowl to munch on Smarties and Starburst. On my way back, I heard Dave trying to explain the EULA to the engineer. I stopped in and told him that I wasn't sure, but I thought they needed to have it; he said he’d check into it.
I returned to my office and packed up my orange crate. In about five minutes, I got an e-mail from the engineer in which he had requested the EULA and prefaced his e-mail with “Thanks, Jean. This was a great catch.” I smiled, snapped the lid shut on my orange crate, and said to myself, “Aren’t you great?!” And, for the first time, in a long time, I really believed it. ♥
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