All in My Family

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Yesterday, I had Easter with my family. It wasn’t my “traditional” family. It was a family that I had been a dotted line member of for the last 10 years. Nathan and I had a lovely Easter dinner at Ellen’s; she's my neighbor.

When I was growing up, I always looked forward to the holidays. Any holiday meant that my grandmother, who had been a widow since 1960, would come, bearing Ring Dings, a jar of pickles, and the latest copy of the National Enquirer, and stay overnight. Likewise, it also meant that my grandfather would come bearing a waxed bag full of the greasiest and tastiest blueberry muffins from some farm stand in Webster, Massachusetts where he lived.

My Mom was not a gourmet cook, but she was pretty good. I loved her stuffing at Thanksgiving, her Yorkshire pudding on Xmas with the roast beef, and she was the one who taught me how to make a killer pie crust. As a family, we always had good holidays.

I don’t think we had any unique traditions. My Dad would always buy us kids and my Mom a present that was just from him on Christmas. He had a postal stationery business in addition to his regular job when we grew up, so I think he used Christmas as a way of giving us each a gift that made up for his many nights spent in the basement sorting his envelopes or shipping out cut squares to customers. He also probably felt a tad guilty and that a Christmas bonus was merited because of all those mornings, afternoons, and evenings we spent drying out his postal stationery after the basement flooded!

After both my parents died, my sister, brother, and I celebrated the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays together. After my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and I ended up in some personal turmoil, our “family” holidays fell apart. Though, for the last 10 years, there’s always been a constant for me, and that constant has been Ellen and her family.

I don’t remember when I first met Ellen. When I moved into my house, my crotchety neighbor, Mrs. Black (surname was very indicative of her personality), told me that there was a family with four boys down the street. Eventually, Nathan met Ellen’s son, Connor, and they became fast friends.

Ellen has four boys, Zach, Chris, Connor (Nathan's age), and Noah. You’ve all met Noah on my blog before. Iz adores Noah.

I think the two of them revel in each other’s company. They are to each other the sibling they always wanted. Noah wanted someone younger to look up to and adore him, and Iz always wanted a sibling close in age to watch over her; and they both do that so perfectly for each other.

Ellen called a few weeks before Easter to ask us what we were doing. She proposed we all eat out, and I said we were game for that. She said if her sister came, she might change the Easter dinner venue to her home; I told her either way to count me and Nate in.

Last week, she called to say that the restaurant she had in mind was charging way too much. Also, her sister was coming with her family. So, Easter dinner was now at Ellen’s.

I asked if she wanted me to donate some money to the meal or bring something. She asked me to bring shrimp cocktail. Thinking shrimp wasn’t enough given we had so many holiday meals at Ellen’s, I offered to make scallops in bacon, too. The scallops were gone in under 10 minutes; obviously, I highly recommend this recipe!

Nate and I arrived at Ellen’s around 1:45pm. Her sister, Cathy, a nurse, was there with her husband and two children. I think I had met Cathy before, but before yesterday, I never really got a chance to talk to her for any great length. In addition to Cathy and her family, there was Nate and me, and Ellen’s brood (minus Tuft’s frosh, Chris) for a total of eleven.

After scallops, shrimp cocktail, cheese and crackers, salsa and chips, and potato chips and onion dip, we sat down for dinner. It was great sitting at a table that fit all of us. I hadn’t sat at a table for 11, well, I hadn’t done that too many times in my life.

When dinner was over, the table was cleared. Ellen put the kettle on; Ellen’s a tea-o-holic like I’m a Fresca-a-holic. And with dessert on our plates and hot tea in our mugs, Ellen, Cathy, and I chatted about nothing and everything; five lovely hours later, I headed home.

Today, I muddled through the day. I watched Law & Order, I took Nate to the dentist because his wisdom teeth were knocking at his gum doors, and I wallowed in non-jobness; however, I could not stop thinking about the lovely time I had yesterday at Ellen’s.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I am haunting by feelings. But, usually, I'm haunted in a good way. Today, I kept thinking, “I enjoyed life so much yesterday.”

I thought, “I should write a formal thank you note to Ellen.” And, I love her for this and simultaneously dislike her for this, but my Mom always had us children writing thank-you notes. My sister-in-law once said I was "Queen of the Thank You Notes."

Over the years, Ellen and I had shared so much. We shared kids with hers living at my house or mine living down at her house. We shared heartache, and lately we shared parenting with her tending to Iz for me or me minding Noah, picking up Chris at school, or taking Connor out driving. Sometimes, it seemed like we had somewhat been each other’s spouses for the last 10 years.

Instead, as I sat there in the car about to grocery shop, I thought, I need to call Ellen. I dialed her cell number; it rang. She said, “Hello?”

I said, “Hi, it’s Jean. I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. I had such a nice time.” Ellen seemed a bit surprised by my call. And, she responded by saying she was glad we could come and it was nice for us to be there as well.

Most of Ellen’s family was far away and elderly. Most of mine was far away and dead. Through the years, Ellen and I seemed to find a family within our own families. And, while it's true that blood can be thicker than water, yesterday, it became clear that water can be just as thick as blood. ♥