Are You My Mother?

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there.

BabelySuze
Brenda (Momcat)
Nancy (Mom to Kelly)
Sarah (Momcat)
Esme (Sarah’s Mom)
Liz (Momcat)
KimB
RonnieF
TomS (Mr. Mom!)

And a huge thinking about you to those who didn’t get to send a card on this “holiday” but so wanted to.

As I said in my previous blog, my Mom died over 15 years ago.
The first Mother’s Day without her brought a HUGE sadness, because I had just become a mother myself after she died.

I think I spent many years after trying to find a woman to take her place, and I never did.
I often felt like I was the main character in this book. :-)



I guess you can never really replace your mother.
Over the years, I’ve found many people who have been just like family to me.
K, maybe even better than my own family.
And, you all know who you are, cuz you are all reading this blog right now.

Anyway, this is my Mom.
I want you all to meet her.
So, friends, meet Ruth Evelyn (Smith) Szymcak.



My Mom was a nurse – Boston Children’s Hospital School of Nursing.
She was compassionate, intelligent, a very good listener, serious, artistic, absolutely beautiful, and she loved Bridge Mix.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridge_mix

I remember going to Maine one Summer, and she made this beautiful Egyptian woman out of sand and adorned her with sea glass.
And, when I mean serious, well, her sense of humor lacked a tad.
I got my Dad’s sense of humor definitely.
We were going out to the mall one night to window shop, and my Mom asked me if I was ready, and I said, "Ready, Freddie", and then she said, 'Oh, you're always calling me names!"
Um, hello, Mom, that's just an expression, hello, hello, hello, Planet Earth to Mom!

She was a major cat lady.
Both my Mom and Dad adored cats.
K, yeah, so it’s in the genes. :-)
There are SO many other things I wanted to say about her, but this would be an endless blog.

Here she is with “Little Red” and “Jerry”.



As I said, I’ve often searched for my Mom since her death, and in the vein of friends filling in typical “family” places, I want to tell this story about Sarah’s Mom.
Sarah is one of the loveliest women I’ve ever met.
Like Suze, a beautiful soul.
I remember being at work one day, a day where I had six releases going out.
And at one point, I said out loud, “Gawd, I want my Mommy!”
Sarah’s cube was right across from mine, and as usual, Sarah responded with her always sympathetic, “Oh, Jean. Is there anything I can do to help?”
And, I said, “Can I call your Mom?”
She laughed and said, "Sure!"
On those days, when I was still waiting on engineers to approve notes, people to review the notes, Sarah would always stop by my cube on her way out and say, “Oh, are you here for much longer?”
I usually was, but it was SO NICE to have Sarah stop by and say that.
Because on those days, I really wanted to pick up the phone, call my Mom, and bitch to her.
Not that my Mom would fix my problems, but she’d be there to listen.

Anyway, the next day, I got in and saw that I had a voicemail message.
I started to listen to it and heard the voice of an older woman with a Brit accent.
I thought, “Who is this? It must be a joke.”
The message went:
"Hello, Jean. This is Esme, Sarah's Mum. Sarah told me that you had a bad day yesterday, and I just wanted to let you know that you can call me anytime you like."
I almost cried right then and there.
How sweet was that?
Thank you, Esme.
Happy Mother’s Day to you, first and foremost. <3

I was 7 months pregnant with Nathan with my Mom died.
I guess when every woman has her first child, she wants her Mom to be there…to give her support, advice, and take care of the baby so she can sleep for 5 minutes. :-)

At my baby shower, my cousin, Laura, who had a boy, Joshua, when she was only 18 gave me the letter my Mom had sent her when Joshua was born.
When my sister became pregnant, I gave her the original letter, and now I have a copy.

It’s dated September 19, 1980.
“Dear Laura,
I can’t think of anything that Joshua needs so please accept this money gift for him and use it for something special that you would like him to have. You have a beautiful son.
If an old Auntie can give any advice – let me say – talk to him constantly. Even at his tender age, he will respond in his own way. Whenever he is awake and you are nearby, keep a little one-sided conversation going. As the weeks go by observe his development – how he changes in his response and how his personality grows week by week. Love him, (don’t be surprised that you won’t always like him).
Be patient and never compare him with any other baby. He is unique and very special and will grow in his own way and in his own time. Accept him as he is and love him because he is himself.
How I wish someone had told me this and made me understand its truth. Alas much of wisdom is gained in retrospect.
God bless you both.
Love, Aunt Ruth.”

When I had Nathan, I didn’t have my Mom, but I had this letter filled with sage advice.
And this is why I have the two beautiful children that I have today.

IddyB:



Nathan:



And, I carry it in my heart as I do her to this day.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
I love you.