You Like Me. You Really Like Me.

Finally, it has happened to me right in front of my face, and I just cannot hide it. I have a job. For a short while, I even had two jobs hanging in my scales of Unemployment temporarily replacing my cycling shoes on the left and my Crane Beach membership card on the right.

It’s amazing how life can go from zero to 60 miles an hour when you feel like you never even stepped on the gas pedal. Earlier this week, I had a three month contract job opportunity with my ex-employer, the company that laid me off over a year ago, and I had a full-time opportunity at a data warehousing company. So, I had possibilities in my scale, but one was an apple and the other was an orange.

Some might not even consider an offer from their ex-employer. While I was devastated when I got laid off and went through a rainbow of emotions, I found my pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, and it was time spent with the people I love or doing things I had never had much time to do when I was employed. At the end of the day, I reasoned that my company had to do what they did to survive the economy, and that they had done me the biggest favor of my life in some ways by giving me a year to spend exactly as I wanted.

And, it was hard not to still like them, because I had liked my job so much and all the people I worked with. After I got laid off, I even continued to go back to run at lunch with my friends; sometimes, after running, I’d even park myself in a cubicle with my laptop and silently sit there applying for jobs or writing my blog in the company of all my still-employed co-workers. I knew people who just couldn’t go back, but for some reason, I wanted to go back.

Sometimes when I ran with my friends, I’d pass someone from the company that I hadn’t known very well who was still employed and also out running. A look of recognition would slowly wash over the face almost as if saying, “Hey, she doesn’t work here anymore! What’s she doing running around here?” In an instant, that look would fade and a huge smile would form and I’d see a “Hi” escape from the smiling lips.

Instead of "Wow, she's a weirdo," though there could have been a few of those, it almost felt like each person thought as they passed me, “Wow. They let her go, but she’s not going to let them get her down.” At one point, I went back so frequently that I felt like the Red Stapler guy (Milton Waddams) in “Office Space.” I was just waiting for someone in HR to come up to me, tap me on the shoulder, and say, “Excuse me, Jean, but you don’t work here anymore, remember?!”

My other job opportunity was with a great company, but it was an hour away versus twenty minutes away like my old company; however, I did go for an interview. While the product was interesting and the people were lovely, I began to do the commuting math on the way home. I concluded that the round-trip was 2 hours with no traffic, and that this job would mean that I’d only live to go to work during the week; worse, I’d probably get to see Iz and Nathan only for about an hour a day.

So, what did I decide? I thought Fate might make the decision for me; however, I was then asked for a second interview at the hour-commute company to meet the CEO and the third co-founder. After over a year of rejection, it was really a "You like me, you really like me” Sally Field moment when it came to pondering both opportunities. After much thinking, fretting, and numerous consultations with friends, I declined the second interview and signed on with my old company; they wanted me back, and I wanted to be “back.”

Ironically, the company that laid me off had taught me the greatest lesson when it came to decisions like this. When I declined the second interview, I wrote, “One thing I've learned this last unemployed year is how important the time I spend with my children is, especially my 7-year-old.” While coming to a decision was difficult with the “what ifs,” the “maybes,” and the “My old company really has a kick-ass salad bar,” ultimately, deciding what to do was really easy; by way of letting me go, my old company had made me realize that coming back to them was not only good for me but good for Iz, too, even without the lure of horseback riding lessons. ♥