Have I Been Here Before?

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As I said earlier this week, often when I’m thinking about one thing, all the things around me suddenly remind me of that one thing. With my high school reunion a day away, I was constantly reminded of those years this week when I looked in my laundry basket, glanced at Nathan’s prom invitation, or poured a glass of milk; Cathy used to pick me up just so I could go buy milk a gallon of milk with her. Today, I went back in time again; I went back to “work.”

It’s not what you think! I didn’t get a job overnight nor did I opt to be an enumerator; working nights and weekends didn’t end up being too appealing. Plus, I had my priorities; who would Bill bike with?!

I went back to “work” to run at lunch with what was left of our running group. When I worked there, I began running with Brenda, and then somewhere along the way, Tom started running with us, then Jeff started running with us, and then Tom knew other engineers who wanted to run. Okay, I’m not sure if I’ve got the sequence of membership to the group correctly, but I was not the group historian; I only sent the “running email” as it was referred to.

So, most every day when it was not hot as Hades or as cold as my feet were when I took a picture of them in snow, I would send an email to our group asking “Running?!?!?" or something like that. It was short and sweet. At noon, we’d all meet out front and then head off; of course, once running, we all filtered out into running subgroups due to our differing speeds.

These days the running group has grown quite small, and they ran far less frequently than they did when I worked there. It was due to heavier workloads and to those who had joined the nearby gym to escape the heat and the cold year round. After I was laid off, they (Tom) kept up with the running email for a long time, and I went back to run every now and then; however, like all good things, the economy came along and ruined it to a certain extent.

Anyway, after talking to Tom recently, I got motivated to go back and run. I could easily run at home, but I really wanted to be back at "work." I missed a lot of the people there, and I needed motivation to lose my dress down outfit. Yes, I was exchanging it for running shorts, but I was having lunch there so a shower, jeans, a shirt, makeup, and earrings were mandatory!

When I arrived at work, I walked up to the front door, and there was Tom with another engineer, John. John didn’t run with us a lot; actually, he didn’t need to because without any training at all, he could beat most people. He was a natural much to Tom’s disappointment, as they bet each other who would have the best time at the 5K race we did as a “group” each year.

I went inside to drop my car key off. As I walked up to the receptionist’s desk, I saw Joe, the security guard. He glared at me, and then he said, “Where have you been? Long time no see!”

I greeted him with a laugh and asked, “Can I leave my key with you?” He tapped his fingers on the desk and said, “Put it right here.” I dropped my key on the desk; it was good to be there, even if only in the lobby as a “visitor.”

I turned around and walked back out. Amrit had joined Tom by then. When I saw her, I embraced her, and she mentioned it had been so long; it had been too long. Tom said, “Chris is coming, but Ron’s working on a critical.”

When Chris joined us, we were off. As usual, Tom ran ahead, I stayed with Amrit, and Chris feel behind Amrit and I. I had my iPod on, because I’m usually only able to listen to music and run at the same time; talking and running was difficult for me. I began to ask Amrit what was new, and then I said, “I’m turning my iPod off. Let’s catch up.”

It’s funny how something that felt so wrong (losing my job) had felt somewhat right this last year, given that I had gotten to spend some much time with my kids and do so much for myself. But as I ran with Amrit, running along with her seemed so right. And, when Tom passed us (we run the route counter clockwise; he runs clockwise), he waved like he always did; it was indeed an old friend saying “Hi” on a day when I needed an old friend most.

When we arrived back at work, Tom had bottles of water waiting as usual. I ran inside to get my key, and I was greet ecstatically by Barbara, the reception. I had to laugh after she said, “It’s so nice to see you,” and then immediately frowned, lowered her voice and said, “Are you working yet?” in the short span of 30 seconds.

I told her I wasn’t; she asked if I was still looking. I said, “Yes.” Though, I told her that it depended on the day of the week; for example, if it was sunny and 70 degrees, I was not parked at my desk seat but sitting on my bike seat!

I ran back to the car, got my things, and I went to the locker room with Amrit. After I was showered, dressed, and wearing a spritz of Hermes, we went to the cafeteria for lunch. Amrit departed to go check on “work,” but she said she’d come back if “work” had behaved itself while she was gone. (Her boss called her while we were out running; she amazed me, chatting on her cell while running. I bet she could even do all that while chewing gum, too!)

I loved the salad bar at our cafeteria. Actually, I had babbled on about it to Tom. He probably thought I was crazy, but I missed my daily salad bar romp.

As I grabbed my plastic salad bowl with which to create my salad du jour, I glanced up. I saw Lisa, who worked in the cafeteria. She smiled, walked up to me, opened her arms, and gave me the biggest bear hug.

She asked me if I was working. I told her I wasn’t. Then she asked how everyone from my laid off technical writing group was doing. I filled her in as best I could, and during the course of conversation, I found out that she lived in Pepperell, which was two towns away from me Ironically, she had just bought a bike and said she’d probably be out on the rail trail tomorrow; I love life when it’s a small world!

After talking to Lisa, I realized I had lost track of Tom. Lisa, who knew everything that went on in the company, had told me that Tom had come through “a while ago.” I texted Tom, because I could remember where I was supposed to meet him. I somewhat felt like Alice in Wonderland being back walking the halls of a company that I had loved working for.

After I got a fork, knife, and napkin, Tom, Ron (another lovely engineer), and Amrit appeared all at once. It was like a group hug without the hugging. I chatted with Ron, who was now the father of three daughters, one of whom loved Hello Kitty; Ron said, after telling me about her devotion, “Didn’t you have all that Hello Kitty stuff up in your office?”

Tom, Amrit, and I sat down to eat. I heard about the latest stock news. This was ironic given that Sonus stock was about to pay for Nathan’s wisdom teeth, well, the co-pay.

I had been getting these eTrade statements for a long time. I never bothered to open them thinking, “I wasn’t there long enough to get any stock.” I was thinking that they were only a brutal reminder (Balance: $0) of how I had never made good on any stock options in my professional career; though, oddly, after I left men, they cashed in big time on Lucent and CMGI stock options! Ah, maybe I was bad/good luck charm?!

I finally opened one of these eTrade statements three weeks ago. Much to my amazement, I had 200 or so vested shares. I immediately hit “Sell,” and said, “Thank you ex-company for paying for Nathan’s wisdom teeth!”

After lunch I went up and visited my friend, Dave, who works in Customer Service. When I first got my job, I feared him; I had to get his approval on all the major issues I documented. It was very difficult to get his attention let alone his approval, so I opted for what had always worked best for me; this was humor.

I had “convinced” him over time that our major issues affected the Ozone layer and contributed to the extinction of the red panda bear, so he should respond immediately to me to save the world. After five crazy emails depicting a talking red panda, I had his immediate approval most of the time on all major issues and his friendship. And to this day, I still cherish his friendship.

After I left “work” today, I realized why the people I worked with and the company I worked for had meant so much to me. It was just like high school. I had a wonderful group of friends, especially among the writers, in a very supportive environment where I flourished both professionally and personally.

I missed the job, but I missed being with the people I worked with so much more. I had been lucky enough to find all the Lovelies again in regard to high school. But, today, I also realized how fortunate I was to still have all my former co-workers in my life, too. ♥

Happy weekend, Everyone! ♥

A Birthday Note: Today is my Mom’s birthday and, for some reason, this is always the most challenging day of the year for me emotionally. (That’s why I’m so glad I spent it at "work.") Happy Birthday, Mom. I’m glad I was your “sunshine;” you meant the world to me and you always will. ♥

End blog soundtrack:

Paul Brady, Helpless Heart.