These are a Few of My Favorite Things

Post-it Note to Nancy (um, a Hello Kitty one, k?): This is SO not a tear-jerker blog, so read on, girl. No Kleenex needed. :-)

I just wanted to thank you all for your birthday cards, birthday phone calls, birthday emails, and birthday presents.

And, kudos to the one who left this in my driveway.



Okay, okay, okay…pants on fire.
I didn’t get that, but I might as well starting hinting now.
I would like an old Alfa Romeo spider convertible (red, black leather interior, 5-speed) for my 50th.
Start saving now, people! :-)
By the way, its license plate will be NRVOUS.
Anyone see “Ferris Buehler’s Day Off”?
I know Suze and Skip did. :-)
Anyway, there's a VERY nice Ferrari in it with the license plate “NRVOUS”.
Rent the movie, people!



Tangent Ferrari story: On Sunday, I was driving Nathan home from his soccer game.
I was grumbling at someone who was merging but not really merging onto Route 495.
When I say “not really” I mean that this driver just drove straight onto the highway, expecting all traffic to yield to him; that’s my pet peeve...people who merge without yielding like they're supposed to!
Another one of my pet peeves is individuals who throw their socks in the laundry inside out and all balled up.
And yet another is people who throw dog poop in their neighbor’s yards; that’s just SO unforgiveable, especially when they admit it on camera! :-)
But, I digress.
Anyway, I cursed the driver in front of Nathan.
No, I didn’t swear; I just said, “Nana-nana, nana-nana, boo-boo, Poopiehead!”
Really, that’s it!
So, Nathan said, “Mom, you’re so bad ass!”
Um, yeah, k, Nate.
And then, as I usually do after he makes fun of me, I said, “That’s it, Mr. Wise Guy, you’re SO not going to college.”
If you totaled it all up over the last two years, Nathan’s probably not going to college 137 times. :-)
Then Nathan thought a second and said, “Hey, Mom. You know, you and Dad could take that 200K you were going to use to send me to college and buy a Ferrari!”
I then asked stupidly, “So, Nathan, which would you rather have a college education or a Ferrari?”
He said, “A Ferrari!”
Hey, at least, he was honest. :-)

Anyway, my 47th (ow, ow, ow, ouch!) birthday was on Monday.
And, here's what 47 looked like in case you were wondering. :-)



And, I wanted to thank you all for remembering me the way you did.
Presents are always nice to receive, and most of my life, I have really enjoyed giving to people more than receiving from them.

Maybe I'm odd this way, but to me, giving someone a present and then seeing the look on their face is like receiving a gift.
Anyway, I preface the rest of this by sharing this quote with you by Helen Keller:

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.”

I got some lovely things for my birthday, but I think first and foremost, they were felt in my heart; that is, I love you all for caring so much about me.

Kinda sorta tangent story: I remember my last year of college, I ran out of money near Christmas.
My mother told me I was not to buy her anything; I was to “make” something.
I stood there and thought, “Make something? What, am I five years old again? Where's that little clay pot I made her in 4th grade? Maybe I can regift that...hmmmm.”
I had a think, and I finally presented her with a little coupon book on Xmas morning.
When she opened the book, she said, “Wow, 10 foot rubs!”
And I tell you, she loved and used everyone of those coupons.
The minute I walked in the door, it wasn’t “Oh, Jean, I’m so glad to see you!”
She greeted me, waving a coupon, and asked, “Can I get a foot rub now!”

Thank you, Jeff (a.k.a. Nantucket, Alaska Feed & Grain), for Spike and Daisy. <3 src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z53/Jean_Sizzlechick/IMG_6578.jpg">

Meet Spike:



Thank you, Brenda, for my post-it notes and for my ONE HUNDRED (yes, folks, that’s right!) GEL PENS! <3 src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z53/Jean_Sizzlechick/IMG_6642.jpg">

Hey, Brenda!
I have 100 gel pens now, and you only have 64!
Nah-nah-nah! :-)
Actually, Brenda is one of the few people who shares my love of office supplies (pens, pencils, post-its, and the like).
Is this a girl thing or what?
Anyway, um, here’s my basket of post-it notes.
Doesn’t everyone have a basket of post-it notes?
Oh, it’s just me?
Hmmm. :-)



Thank you, George, for the Hello Kitty rubix cube. <3 src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z53/Jean_Sizzlechick/IMG_6643.jpg">

As George said to me in email, “I wasn’t sure what Hello Kitty things you might *not* have…”
I don’t have these!



Yes, the rubix cube was a safe bet, George. :-)
Though it shall remain exactly as is, in its perfectly solved state, because like Calculus, the Electric Slide, and changing a bike tire, the rubix cube is a one thing I never mastered!

Anyway, my 47th was lovely.
And thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes on Monday and mostly for loving me as you do, unconditionally, the other 364 days a year.

Are You My Mother?

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there.

BabelySuze
Brenda (Momcat)
Nancy (Mom to Kelly)
Sarah (Momcat)
Esme (Sarah’s Mom)
Liz (Momcat)
KimB
RonnieF
TomS (Mr. Mom!)

And a huge thinking about you to those who didn’t get to send a card on this “holiday” but so wanted to.

As I said in my previous blog, my Mom died over 15 years ago.
The first Mother’s Day without her brought a HUGE sadness, because I had just become a mother myself after she died.

I think I spent many years after trying to find a woman to take her place, and I never did.
I often felt like I was the main character in this book. :-)



I guess you can never really replace your mother.
Over the years, I’ve found many people who have been just like family to me.
K, maybe even better than my own family.
And, you all know who you are, cuz you are all reading this blog right now.

Anyway, this is my Mom.
I want you all to meet her.
So, friends, meet Ruth Evelyn (Smith) Szymcak.



My Mom was a nurse – Boston Children’s Hospital School of Nursing.
She was compassionate, intelligent, a very good listener, serious, artistic, absolutely beautiful, and she loved Bridge Mix.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridge_mix

I remember going to Maine one Summer, and she made this beautiful Egyptian woman out of sand and adorned her with sea glass.
And, when I mean serious, well, her sense of humor lacked a tad.
I got my Dad’s sense of humor definitely.
We were going out to the mall one night to window shop, and my Mom asked me if I was ready, and I said, "Ready, Freddie", and then she said, 'Oh, you're always calling me names!"
Um, hello, Mom, that's just an expression, hello, hello, hello, Planet Earth to Mom!

She was a major cat lady.
Both my Mom and Dad adored cats.
K, yeah, so it’s in the genes. :-)
There are SO many other things I wanted to say about her, but this would be an endless blog.

Here she is with “Little Red” and “Jerry”.



As I said, I’ve often searched for my Mom since her death, and in the vein of friends filling in typical “family” places, I want to tell this story about Sarah’s Mom.
Sarah is one of the loveliest women I’ve ever met.
Like Suze, a beautiful soul.
I remember being at work one day, a day where I had six releases going out.
And at one point, I said out loud, “Gawd, I want my Mommy!”
Sarah’s cube was right across from mine, and as usual, Sarah responded with her always sympathetic, “Oh, Jean. Is there anything I can do to help?”
And, I said, “Can I call your Mom?”
She laughed and said, "Sure!"
On those days, when I was still waiting on engineers to approve notes, people to review the notes, Sarah would always stop by my cube on her way out and say, “Oh, are you here for much longer?”
I usually was, but it was SO NICE to have Sarah stop by and say that.
Because on those days, I really wanted to pick up the phone, call my Mom, and bitch to her.
Not that my Mom would fix my problems, but she’d be there to listen.

Anyway, the next day, I got in and saw that I had a voicemail message.
I started to listen to it and heard the voice of an older woman with a Brit accent.
I thought, “Who is this? It must be a joke.”
The message went:
"Hello, Jean. This is Esme, Sarah's Mum. Sarah told me that you had a bad day yesterday, and I just wanted to let you know that you can call me anytime you like."
I almost cried right then and there.
How sweet was that?
Thank you, Esme.
Happy Mother’s Day to you, first and foremost. <3

I was 7 months pregnant with Nathan with my Mom died.
I guess when every woman has her first child, she wants her Mom to be there…to give her support, advice, and take care of the baby so she can sleep for 5 minutes. :-)

At my baby shower, my cousin, Laura, who had a boy, Joshua, when she was only 18 gave me the letter my Mom had sent her when Joshua was born.
When my sister became pregnant, I gave her the original letter, and now I have a copy.

It’s dated September 19, 1980.
“Dear Laura,
I can’t think of anything that Joshua needs so please accept this money gift for him and use it for something special that you would like him to have. You have a beautiful son.
If an old Auntie can give any advice – let me say – talk to him constantly. Even at his tender age, he will respond in his own way. Whenever he is awake and you are nearby, keep a little one-sided conversation going. As the weeks go by observe his development – how he changes in his response and how his personality grows week by week. Love him, (don’t be surprised that you won’t always like him).
Be patient and never compare him with any other baby. He is unique and very special and will grow in his own way and in his own time. Accept him as he is and love him because he is himself.
How I wish someone had told me this and made me understand its truth. Alas much of wisdom is gained in retrospect.
God bless you both.
Love, Aunt Ruth.”

When I had Nathan, I didn’t have my Mom, but I had this letter filled with sage advice.
And this is why I have the two beautiful children that I have today.

IddyB:



Nathan:



And, I carry it in my heart as I do her to this day.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
I love you.

The Goddess of All Things Babely

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I decided to dedicate this blog to someone very special in my life.
She’s not my mother.
But, she is a mother.

My mother, Ruth, died in 1992.
And, I miss her every day.
A few years after she died, I began to send Mother’s Day cards to all my girlfriends, even those who weren’t mothers.
It just seemed like the right thing to do, even though it was a bit, well, different than the norm.
But then again "different than the norm" is my middle name. :-)

Anyway, I was thinking about Mother’s Day a lot this year.
Well, who can’t without all the advertising?
Last chance to give iPod for Mother's Day.
Book your dinner reservations now for Mother’s Day.
Show Mom how much you care by sending a lovely Mother’s Day bouquet.
Six Days left before Mother's Day Free Shipping Offer!
You know, I think most Mom’s would like to see this sign:
Dad, take the family out for the day and leave Mom home alone with the TV remote and a bottle of champagne!

Anyway, this Mother’s Day, I was thinking about the woman in my life who I admire and love the most.
I have known her now for 24 years give or take a few months.
She is my best girlfriend, a super Mom, and a wonderful wife.
She is compassionate, beautiful, thoughtful, lovely, intelligent, giving, funny, and pretty much everything else.
Her name is Suze.

Err, here we are in 1986.



No, we didn’t dress like this in the 80s; this was a Halloween party, okay?
But, I’m sure we had dresses with shoulder pads, and you can see I have the ridiculous 80s perm!

Anyway, Suze is the woman I look up to and admire most in my life.
Well, technically, in the physical sense, I look down upon her.
Of course, being the Amazon I am, I pretty much look down on most my friends.
She is 5’ and maybe three inches.
She has to hem all her pants, and I have to buy "talls". :-)

Suze and I have been through a lot together.
Cruddy times, good times, and my favorite, champagne times!

Oh, here’s Suze’s husband, Skip.
This was before they were married.
Crazy kids!



I love Skip, too.
Actually, his real name is not Skip; it’s Furwood.
K, his REAL name is Arthur when it’s not Skip when it’s not Furwood.
My Mom loved Skip, and she began calling him Furwood when I first met him.
Yeah, I have no idea why and how she came up with that name, but she always said Skip was like a big teddy bear and she thought him a sweetheart.
And he is, well, most of the time, right Suze? :-)

I remember one Patriot’s Day (a holiday that only Massachusetts celebrates and on which the Boston Marathon is run) when we were all in Boston.
We weren’t running the marathon, oh, heavens no!
Our gang of friends just used the holiday as an excuse to go into Boston and drink way too many Margaritas at Frog Lane.
Anyway, Suze and I were at a party at Skip’s sister’s place, and it was there that Suze confessed to me that she liked Skip.
Of course, I had had the above mentioned “too many Margaritas” and said in a not too quiet voice in the middle of the party, “You’ve got the hots for Skip?!”
Um, I was never what you call a quiet talker anyway.
Anyway, Skip, while I adore you, this blog is not about you, k?
So, back to Suze!

I remember in 1986 saying to her, “Gawd, I’d really like to go somewhere. Maybe Hawaii!”
And she said, “I’m in!”
And off we went. We had a great time.
Um, I fell on the rocks, skinned my knee, and Suze kept me from passing out and falling into the Pacific Ocean.
Then, I saw a barracuda when swimming, and I told her.
To THIS DAY, she still doesn’t believe me.
Did too, did too, Suze!
True Confession: I went to the aquarium with Iz during the past school vacation, and I saw a barracuda in the big tank, um, only it wasn’t a barracuda.
It was some other fish, because when this big brown ugly fish swam by what I thought was the barracuda, the woman from the aquarium said, “And, there’s the barracuda!” when pointing to the big brown ugly fish.
Um, so Suze, I didn’t see a barracuda.
After 22 years, you were right, k? :-)

Anyway, one of the reasons (there are MANY) why I love being friends with Suze is that even with all the stupid mistakes I’ve made (k, let me be positive and call them “learning experiences” instead), she’s NEVER said, “Boy, that was stupid, Jean”.
No matter what, she’s always been there supportive and true.
The best advice that Suze ever gave me was “Always go with your gut”, and she was always right about that.
Whenever I’ve not gone with my gut, I’ve been sorry.
When I go quiet, she hounds me via emails, because she knows when I go “quiet”, there’s something wrong.
I guess in some ways, friends already see the person you long to be in your heart.
And Suze has always seen me and loved me exactly for who I am.
Suze, you are a thoughtful, sincere, absolutely wonderful friend, and you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

So, this blog is for you.
Oh, and let me make it official...

I, the Goddess of All Things Lovely deem you, Suze, The Goddess of All Things Babely by the power vested in me by the Goddess Society of Massachusetts – our motto being “In Shoes We Trust”.

Thanks for being you, Suze.
You are a beautiful soul, and on this Mother’s Day, I wanted you to know that you are the woman I admire most for all your wonderful qualities.
I love you, BabelySuze.

Feline Better

Life can be stressful sometimes.
Don't we all know it, especially in the last six months?

I put on my underwear inside out some mornings, I frequently forget my son's orthodontist appointments, and I wonder where I put my reading glasses sometimes, and then after 2 minutes, I realize they're right on the top of my head!
Anyway, I was making the bed this morning.
And, just after I put on the fitted sheet, Liam (my 14-pound Maine Coon Cat) jumped up on top of the bed.
He always does this. I used to think that he thought I needed his "help"; if ONLY he could help me make the beds!
His lame excuse always seems to be "But, I have no thumbs!"
Anyway, now I just think it's one of those games that cats like to play with you to mess with your mind.
Kinda like a National Geographic special: The Age-Old Struggle Between Cat and Man – Does Either Win in the End?
Dat-dat-duna-duna-duna!
Queue theme from National Geographic!

http://www.imeem.com/people/B2yhLu/music/NrKFVT4a/various_artists_national_geographic_theme/
.
.
.
Tangent story:

I found Liam on the Internet.
Yep, the cat, Caesar, who I trapped in a hav-a-heart trap on my porch with sardines for bait had died.
He was only three; he had a stroke.
Caesar was feral when I got him, and over time, with much love and understanding…from him to me…from me to him, he became a wonderful tame cat.
After he died, my son, Nathan and I were devastated , so I went to www.petfinder.com.
There I found Liam.
He was allegedly being held at the Wild Irish Rose Animal Rescue in some town in CT that was over two hours away from us.
I emailed the rescue, and I heard back within a day from Sheila.
She told me that I had to fill out an application, pay $175, and then I had to give her three references which SHE WOULD CALL.
References?
For a cat?
I thought, "Jeez, applying to college wasn't this difficult."

I remember my sister, Julie, calling me after she received her call from Sheila.
"Hi, Jean, err, I just got off of the phone with that woman from the cat rescue.
I thanked her for speaking to her, and I asked her how it went.
"I spent 40 minutes on the phone with her. It was like a job interview!!!!"
Err, um, I was beginning to wonder about all this.
Anyway, I emailed Sheila back, and I asked when I might come down to get Liam.
She emailed me back saying he was coming up on the next "transport".
Yeah, WTF?!
A transport?
Was Liam a soldier coming back from the Cat-Dog conflict in Guam?!
Apparently, a shelter in West Virginia had to close; they were tearing down the old shelter and putting up a new one. So, they needed to find homes for all the animals or it was curtains for the current animal inhabitants.

Sheila volunteered to find homes for a few cats while they were fostered in West Virginia. And then some wonderful soul drove the animals up to their destinations every few weeks, yep, all the way from West Virginia.

God, do I even know where West Virginia is? Isn't West Virginia like North Dakota, too? They're those states you don't hear about much, so when something happens in them in the news, you have to kind of scratch your head and think, "Where IS North Dakota again?" :-)

I finally got an email saying Liam was coming up, and I arranged to go down and pick him up one night.
Nathan went with me. Upon arrival, the Wild Irish Rose Animal Rescue turned out to be Sheila's house. Upon entering, the scent and the burning Yankee candle, led me to believe that the cats were close by.
I looked up and there in her kitchen were about 6 cages, each holding two to three cats.

I was a tad grossed out by it, but it was hard to cast aspersions on someone who went through so much to save the lives of these animals. Anyway, I paid her my $175, we put Liam in the cat carrier, and we headed back home. On the way home, Nathan took Liam out, put him on his lap, and Liam purred non-stop. Talking about being rescued…Liam was, but I think at that moment Liam rescued us right back.

After getting him to the vet's later in the week, I found out that he had a million different parasites, an eye infection, and so .. after spending $800, he started to gain weight, and he turned into the beautiful cat he is today.



The unique thing about him is that he chirps more than he meows.
If he's sitting with his back to me, and I sneak up on him, and touch his sides, he says, "Brrrrrrruuuuuppp!" It's the funniest thing.
In summary, you can indeed always find some VERY good things on the internet.
.
.
.
So, have you ever tried to make a bed around a 14-pound cat?
It's quite difficult. Try it for fun sometime.
It's a game the whole family can play!

Anyway, I think Liam thinks I'm going to stop what I'm doing, pat him, and then grab a few cat treats from the container that is kept in my underwear drawer of all places.
But, when I unfold the flat sheet, and raise it up in the air to put it on the bed, I see him look at me and say, of course, only if cat's could talk, "Oh, she means business."
The flat sheet goes up into the air and lands on the bed.
Now Liam turns into "lump under flat sheet on bed".
And I hear some meowing, like as in "Meow [WTF! There's a sheet on me!]", meow [Who turned out…], meow [the freaking lights?]!"
Sometimes I have to repeat the flat sheet maneuver to get it just right on the mattress.
When the sheet goes up again, Liam looks entirely perturbed, and I say out loud to him, "Look, get off the bed if you've got a problem with this."
That's when, if cats could flip you the bird, well, he'd lift his paw up and give me "the finger" or, in this case, maybe "the claw".

Once he is covered with the sheet (well, when the sheet is on the bed in the way in which I think it should be), I see the furry lump make its way up to the top of the bed. The lump stops, sticks its head out from under the sheet, looks as if he's checking to see if the coast is clear (i.e., a pillow isn't being thrown his way), and wriggles out from underneath the top sheet.

Then he defiantly repositions himself in the middle of the bed on top of the top sheet. I see this calculated cat course of action, sigh, and I reach for the blanket, so he knows I'm serious.
Once he sees the blanket in my hand, he says, "I dare you!"
I take the blanket by the corners, throw it up in the air over the mattress, and it plummets down on top of Liam's head.
"Meow!" I hear.
I say, "Serves you right, you furry bastard!"
Again, he makes his way, though a bit slower now, cuz he's got two layers on him now, to the top of the bed, wriggles out, and AGAIN repositions himself in the center of the bed.
He now glares at me and says, "Is THAT all you've got, Sister?!"

I turn to pick up the comforter.
I see him flinch just a bit, and he says, "Bring it on!!!!!"
I take the comforter by the ends and toss it up into the air. Because it's much heavier than the blanket, it doesn't waft down on top of the bed the way the sheet or the blanket did. It just "thuds" right down on top of his head.
-thonk-
"Meow!" I hear again.
Again, he makes his way slowly, much slower now cuz he's got three layers on him, to the top of the bed.
It takes quite a bit of effort now to wriggle out from underneath the covers.
He returns to the center of the bed and says, "You don't scare me."
At this point, we both look at each other, sigh, and I say, "It's a draw........again."
He agrees, and I can tell he does, because then he lies down on bed and starts to wash himself.

This sounds really odd to admit, but I love watching him wash himself.
I can be frazzled, upset, exhausted, or grumpy, and when I pause to watch him wash himself, it's like taking a gigantic chill pill in cat form for me.
My favorite part is when he washes his paws.

I love the way he licks his paw, pulls at the huge tufts of fur between his toes, and then meticulously washes every square inch of his mitt, but not before taking the paw up to his face several times, using it as if it were the softest paint brush to slowly and deliberately cover his cheeks with gigantic circles. It looks so comforting.

My second favorite is they way he washes his back paws. Again, after washing the paw all over and pulling the tufts of fur, he moves up to his ankle. He licks it, but then he starts to suck it. It's almost as if the purpose of this action is two-fold – cleaning and comfort. He looks so happy and relaxed when he's sucking on his ankle.

And, do you know what?
It makes me happy and relaxed watching him do all of this.
It just struck me as funny.
I lead a busy life, and I often feel like "I need a massage! I need a holiday! I need the world to stop for a day so I can catch up!"
But, if I take five minutes to watch Liam wash his feet, it makes me incredibly calm and almost peaceful.

It is just interesting to think that sometimes it is indeed the smallest things in life that can make you feel the best.

Job Opportunities for Moi!

It's not what you think.
Rumors of me being employed are greatly exaggerated, k?
Um, though, I did come up with a few ideas for jobs on my own.
Oh, yeah!
Hopefully, you will all not think me crazy (yeah, yeah, too late for that, huh?) after watching this video.

Testing Brenda…1…2…3…Testing Brenda…1…2…3

Brenda, I know it’s not Friday yet, BUT this is just a little pre-test to warm you up for the big cat identification test this Friday.

BTW: For testing purposes, please allot 14 hours, 27 minutes, and 7 seconds of your time, bring 14 #2 pencils and a calculator*, and a bottle of Champagne**.

*Bonus questions are calculating Liam's BMI, Thundie's IQ, and Rover's age in iguana years.
**No, there is no drinking during the test; however, no one says the proctor can't! :-)

Q: Who is this?



A:

a) Rover
b) Donald Trump (the ultimate fur coat “comb over”!)
c) Thundie
d) Monty (trick answer, trick answer!)
e) Michael Jackson (too many plastic surgeries after seeing the “Lion King” one too many times!)
f) Liam (hint, hint, hint, pick me, pick me!)

Note: The correct answer is on page 1,267 of this blog.
No, it’s not, but I just felt like saying that. :-)